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Friends or Not?
I need help, I have 2 BFFS, and they are really really great!! I love them like a sister! Okay I don't want to use their REAL names, so im going to use their first letter of their first name, H & F. (they are both girls) So we all went to the same elementary school until H moved in 2nd grade... it's always been F, me, and other friends... until middle school, ever since then I think F likes H more than me.. like F never seems to NOTICE me when H is around... but when she is gone, F starts complaining like,"Where is H?" Also whenever F sees H she runs up and hugs her, she never done that to me... Not only that.... F hangs out with me and all, but I just don't know why, but I don't feel like she's my friend anymore. But the thing is I don't want to break this friendship up.... or get into an argument.. or am I just jealous? please help.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
One friend can't be exactly the same as the other. LIfe would be boring and we'd all be like robots...predictable. Its the differences that make life easy. I will say that it seems to be part of human nature to assume the worst when a person doesnt acknowledge us or hug, greet, or treat one the same as the other. I have done it too, and its called letting negative thoughts get the better of us. You have a right to wonder about why you dont get a hug too but when you continue to dwell on the issue in your mind, your own mind will create more negative possibilities as you try to figure it out and blow it so out of proportion worse than the actual reality that you can easily become sad, mad, jealous, or depressed. The trick is to get as much info as possible so your mind isn't left to wonder too much along negative lines and get you depressed, and the other thing, once you do know the truth is to reinforce feeling good about yourself for every one action of someone else that makes you feel bad or left out. It takes much more positive intake to wipe out one negative action or action you took negatively. So this is very important.
Now here's somes idea's of mine that could explain away whats happening.
1. We change and grow a lot from elementary school to middle school and also from middle to HS and also college. These changes are neither good nor bad but may influence the type of people we prefer to hang out with. She may have changed enough that tho theres nothing wrong with you, she just doesnt feel you click with her the same as H does with you. So its not a matter of how much time two people have spent together.
2. Middle school is the time when almost all girls are guaranteed to be experiencing puberty and with puberty our emotions get whacked out by the amount of hormones released to create the needed changes in ones body. Fortunately, the emotional changes only last for the duration of puberty and into later teens if a late bloomer. Unfortunately, its mostly the negative emotions that end up on a hair trigger and can be touched off by just about anything. So sadness and constant crying can come up just because of a run in a favorite pair of stockings, or easily irritated to the point of angry outbursts and unreasonable behavior is another. All I can say is that since females are most set off by other females they see on a constant basis like family or friends, its one of those unlucky ones who may get picked on. So far, its just ignoring but not getting angry with you for no reason. However, subconsciously she may be feeling irritated, all due to hormones, not your fault, only when around you, not H. So it wouldn't be surprising to act this way.
3. She may know or be exploring her sexuality as far as bi feelings or gay. She may be having romantic crush on H who may not be aware of it, nor you either but this could cause F to have a greater desire to be in H's presence.
And there could be other reasons. But I want you to see that with what I've listed, it never boils down to you being the cause of her actions. What she chooses to say or do is all her own choices and don't reflect on you. SO lastly, best thing is to not take things so personally.
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