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trying to figure out how to talk to this guy I find attractive
There's this guy who I find attractive. I see him quite a lot because he works at a fast food place I eat at a lot. I wanna talk to him but everytime I want to i don't because I get scared and don't know how to start the conversation and he's also at work so I don't think it would be appropriate or I would get the response I would like. So I just need some advice because I would eventually like to atleast hangout with him once. But I don't know him at all so I'm confused as to whether I go for it or not. Any questions I should ask or things I should say?
I'm 18/f.
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Talk to him as you would anyone else. It really isn't any harder than that and you shouldn't make it in your head. Just be you and talk to him about where you work, music, interests, school or whatever else. You don't know if he has a girfriend. The easiest way to tell and not risk embarassment or rejection is to invite him to hang out at a party or in a group. If he hesitates it may mean he's not interested in you. That doesn't mean he won't become a friend but this allows you to continue working without awkwardness. Who knows he in fact like you too. You just have to talk to him and treat it like talking to anyone else you do in a day. Then you can let the chips fall where they may.
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You definitely need to talk before knowing if theres enough interest to want to hang out or date.
The first stage is attraction which you are at and that leads to wanting to talk to see if the interest still holds to learn more about him at which point you move for hanging out or dates. Dating is not a commitment to a person e ven if its the only person you are dating. This is the major discovery area where you learn in depth about each other and if there are no warning signs or bad treatment, then you continue to the commitment state in dating or getting married or you break up. So all this to let you know what to expect and whats normal so you are very early in this process and yes talking is needed next.
Timing is as important as what you say. I dont know if he's a cashier and up front or in back where its harder to get his attention and of course he can't just leave his station. If he works in back, you might. ask another employee, a female perhaps if she knows or can find out when he is going on break cus you'd like to have a chance to talk to him. Or if he does work up front and is in direct contact with customers, you'd want to wait until he is out cleaning tables etc in the lobby or is taking orders cashiering. I work as a cashier at a fast food place myself and tho I do chat with customers, there isn't much time to say but two sentences a piece before I need to help the next customer in line. So catching him out in the dining area cleaning gives him the most lee way to chat long enough to say, I enjoy your friendliness and the little talking we get. I'd like to chat with you more. Have you taken a break yet or when will you have your break. There's likely a half hour lunch/dinner break and ten min breaks during his 8 hr shift. Timing it when theres few customers is all the better and if you want a chance to say something at the front counter, without holding up people, keep watch to see if others get in line behind you and just say, “I haven't decided yet, you go on ahead,” and step to the end of the line and keep doing so until the mini rush time ends. Its always in spurts where 5,6 people ordering come in all at once and then nothing for 10 mins. Just keep watch. If you're seated and almost done when the place becomes quiet and empty, then find an excuse to go up again, getting a refill on a drink or ordering a dessert just to have a chance to talk. The talk really is not the main convo but just to compliment him, about how friendly and fun it is to chitchat with him if you do make little conversation when around him. I would say it is in your favor to find out if he would have time to come sit and talk with you during his next break. I know its scary to make the first step and its more awkward to find out his breaktime from a coworker who may start teasing him or you. Whatever you are more comfortable with, which I would think is asking if he'd like to come sit and chat with you during his next break. He might ask what you need to talk about and thats when you can say the compliment of him being so friendly and easy to chat with at the counter that you were interested in talking more. Just being friendly. If during the talk you find you are even more interested in him or turned off, then act accordingly. Don't let him go before mentioning you enjoyed the c onvo and you'd like a chance to do this again when he isn't working. Give him your phone and ask for his so you can both go over your calenders and schedules unless you already know yours and can ask what he's doing on such and such day at a particular time of day. If he really doesnt find you his type, this happens often when one is interested and the other isn't. But if you don't follow thru, you never know which time the guy is willing to meet and talk with you. Guys are just as shy as girls and fairly relieved when the females takes up some of the burdon of first contact on her own.
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