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My guy Pt.2Hi Dragonfly,Im re-respnding and asking to a question I sent you
Hi there,and thank you again for the advice!Yes,me and my guy have seen each other about 6 times since I moved here over 2 months ago,and live abut 25 minutes away...
Anyways,as I mentioned,one thing that peeves me,is his weekly visits to his favorite porn stars' page,I know this because her photos show up on my feed and it states he liked her photos,Im trying to understand this fascination he has with her,always leaving her comments,I mean,give me a break,he is not in touch with reality.But he wont stop.
On top is him looking at other women,most of them are models,so you get the idea what type of photos they are,of course,they are al beautiful,and have the most perfect bodies,and hair and smile.and using Tinder,that dating APP.He doesnt know that I know he has Tinder,because I found out on a few comments he left some girls,that he found them on Tinder.To me going around,and calling girls damn sexy,cute,wow,good lord help me,doesnt seem okay,yes,he can call them call them pretty,men will look,I understand,but he has crossed some borders,and a few times,his comments have been deleted. Commenting here and their or their big buts,side boobs,watever.With all this going on you wouldnt think he is involved at all with anyone you know? And then another bottom thing,is he has to like every single photo his ex girlfriend posts,they still follow each other,shes getting married first week of June.I have no idea why he is still lingering around.Ridiculous. This guy,I mentioned to you,was the guy I met when I was 12 at church,and I moved about 10 years ago to Idaho and moved back,partly was for him.I actually used to live where I am living now,so it wasnt a new place,or state I was moving too,so I know my way around,and have family and friends here.
I'm very unhappy and dissapointed with all this,he doesnt mind taking me to bed(We have not had sex,but still intimate)but whoa.....No,no comittment,or asked to be the girlfriend,after he promised,and especially because he kept pressing he needed to have me there with him.
Cant say I'm dissapointed,cant say much.
Obviously,he has a 'problem' that he has some type of dysfuntion with life if he cant ''look around'' everyday. T be honest,it hurts me,it hurts me alot,they will be at least 3 or 4 days we dont talk,but the are photos of his porn star showing up on my feed. For awhile,about 6 weeks,we didnt see each other once,because the cost of gas of him was too much,but told me,if you wanna come on over(Take bart or bus) then come,he threw it oneHe throws whatever he can to excuse myself.It seems to me that he is still imatare and wants the woman to do it all,it wasnt enough to move 3 states away from my family to be here,not even,give me a break.I know it sounds like Im almost giving myself this advice,but I want to cut my ties with him,and walk out.Part of me knows he is waiting for someone just a little better,he is dreaming if he thinks a woman better than me will put up his bulshit. On top of that,any man is dreaming if she allows this crap to happen and look the other way,thats being a rug,and shows excuses and shows that his behavoior is acceptable.I dont find it okay,nor acceptable to be anyways. Thank you again for the advice,I apreciate it so much!!
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His interest in females in skin deep and as shallow as seeing them as no more than sex objects.
I understand you met a few times AFTER you moved, but I guess I didnt know if you knew him back from where you came from, like he lived there and moved for a job? If so, I would think there'd have been some signs already then that he is this way. Its really hard for a guy to hide this if this is the way he is.
The site i gave in last email may sound silly but the visualization of cuttng the cords, ties to such a person is more important than you would think.
See, with my school of hard knocks learning of how to tell when a person is sincere and be able to read them well and see any warning signs, if I had been a fly on the wall, listening in on your communications with him, watching body language, facial expressions, tone of voice maybe, certain actions, I may have a better idea of why you didn't see this problem until you moved. Not having been there, all I can say is that life is a hard teacher, almost feels like a mean teacher with a vendetta against me at times, but the knowledge I have gained from going thru hard things has helped me to avoid a similar situation the next time. So learn to go with your gut feeling. If something or someone sounds too good to be true, then it likely isn't true, listen to your womans intuition, when bombarded with pressure to make a decision quickly or on the spot, its likely cus its not going to be in your best interest...thus him saying he needed to have you there with him was a constant buzz in your ear. Also learn to not take words at face value or how you would interpret them or what you hope they mean. That can get you in hot water faster than anything. My ex, when dating me, said and did things that were all sorts of red flags, even some friends laughed but told him he better not say or do those things any more cus its not right. But I was too naive and didn't see the problems looming. It wasn't until I got married to him at 20, in a handful of months, he stopped treating me nicely the honeymoon was over and I was being treated worse than he treated his friends, and verbally abused.
Life is a learning experience hon, and you need to learn from yours or else the next guy will be the same as this one or even worse. I wish you the best.
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