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disconnected and lonely
(17, f)
I've been feeling disconnected from people and lonely for a while; even a little bit numb. It's not numb like I don't feel emotions, its more like I'm living in a cloud of emotions and everything else doesn't seem to matter. School, sleep, chores; I just can't make myself care. But relationship wise, I care a whole lot.
It has just been this way for a couple of weeks and I want it to stop!
I know that I need to care about school because I need to get good grades, but I just can't make myself care because I am floating in this cloud of emotion.
And I find myself delaying going to sleep, not because I'm not tired, but because I'm lonely. Almost every evening, generally sometime between 8 and 9:30, I get super lonely to the point that I cry, and I'll sit in front of the computer hoping that one of my friends will email me or that one of them will be available to chat, but they rarely are and then I just cry and I don't stop or go to bed until past 11. And I know that the next day I will be exhausted, but in the moment, I just don't think about going to bed.
I feel disconnected from my friends and I don't understand why...I am interacting with them now just as much as I ever have, but it suddenly doesn't feel like enough.
These feelings of floating in a cloud of emotion do have a specific beginning...I can pinpoint the exact moment. It was when my friend told me that my crush(which she didn't know about) of 3+ years was dating someone else. Ever since then I feel like I'm in a cloud....
I don't know how to fix it and I want to because I know this state isn't good for me...
Um...if anyone wants more information to answer the question, feel free to email me at 8pinkclouds98@gmail.com ...given my current state of mind, emails from anyone that are actually interested in me at all are very exciting to receive...so yeah....
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
It has been over 40 years and I can still remember what it felt like to hear that my crush was dating someone else!I don't think I handled it quite as well as you are though! I tried to show up where I knew he would be(yes, in a stalkerish sort of way...)and I would get my friends to call his house(there were no cell phones back then)...oh,it was sad!I sat in school all day in the same sort of cloud you are describing just writing his initials on all my notebooks. Unfortunately this sort of thing is just a right of passage and yes...it will finally get better. Try to find a new hobby, maybe make some new friends or experiment with your make up and clothes a little bit and create an exciting new look for yourself! Treat yourself to something that always makes you feel happy. Make sure you understand that whatever choice your crush is making it is NOT a personal statement about you. You are an awesome unique wonderful person and someone out there has been waiting to meet someone like you! It is okay to mourn the loss of your dreams for a little while but then you have to pick yourself up and move on with your life. Depression is very common among teens so if you don't get back to feeling normal in a couple of weeks have a talk with your parents or guidance counselor. Best wishes to you!
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Hi there!
After reading this I can't help but feel really upset for you.
I can honestly say I have been in this same position. I've dealt with a lot of heartbreak over the years (i'm 23 yrs old) and it caused a lot of questionable behavior, I used to always separate myself from my friends and family, and I wished I could take the time back to fix it, it got me really down and I felt like I was slowly getting worse. I quit my job, moved out, put on a fake smile everyday.
But I had to get myself out of that, because life's too short to waste it being upset about things like this. I'm not saying out stories are the same because they're not. I don't want to see you go down the same path that I did.
Have you got any family members you feel really close to? Or someone you can trust with your life?
I feel it would be good to see a doctor also.
I got out of my rut from the support of my family. The helped me to see that life isn't all about letting things get you down and out for the count.
Do you have a certain hobby or interest?
My interest is music. I LOVE music, I'm defined by the music I love. That is another thing that got me out. My favorite bands made music that made so much sense, and I owe a lot to them.
Have you also tried writing stuff down?
Like a personal diary? To get your feelings and emotions down and let them out.
Take care and I hope to hear from you again, feel free to message me whenever!
-DanSkittles13
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