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Hi, we've know for over a year. Work together and we do flirt at times. He does winds me up by calling me things that I don't like, I tell him don't call me that, he says it winds u up and he laughs, plus he's quite flirty to everyone. Recently, he's going away for few weeks and told me he will miss me and asked me at the same time if I would miss him, I said no, I won't miss u and he just called me bloody and used my name, by the sound of it, he looked and sounded disappointed therefore GUYS, WHAT DOES HIS BEHAVIOUR mean? I do like him and I know he likes me too. He's friendly and flirty with everyone but with me he flirts in a different way. I don't know, am I reading too much??? MORE ADVICE please. Cheers
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
If you work together, I will assume you are both adults. As an adult, a good way to find out if someone returns the same kind of interest is to flirt and see how they respond. Although if a person is over friendly and flirty with everyone, then its part of their personality and then you can't rely on just flirting to know.
Since you are wondering what his actions mean, can I safely assume you have some level of interest in him, whether just as a friend or for possibly more? If you didn't care, you wouldn't really bother asking us and just ignore him instead. You may not think thats what you are doing but there is some reason why his interactions with you mean something. If adult and not in HS anymore, its time to go about relationships in a more adult fashion.
The question here really is: How do you like him, enough to want to date him to find out more about him and possibly become a couple? If so, then its times to "Say what you mean and mean what you say". You said you would not miss him, but you like him and know he likes you. So put yourself in his shoes. If the roles were reversed, how would you feel? I am betting you'd either be irritated that someone could be so heartless and hurt your feelings or you might be very dissapointed if you really were hoping to have a stronger clue that a person is open to the idea of dating. Apparently, neither of you are giving each other any really firm clues. So he thought to ask if you would miss him. You may have answered correctly, in that it is kind of hard to miss the absence of someone with whom you don't have anything more than a flirting relationship at work, its not a firm relations with deepened feelings for each other. But I'll bet you DO realize he was hoping to hear you say yes, you'll miss him so he'd have a clue of wether he has a chance with you when he gets back.
So if you want to date him, then the answer could have been, "No, I don't think I would miss you, as right now you are just a co worker and a friend. But if you were hoping I would miss you, can I assume you are interested in dating me and if so, I am open to that idea. So just come out and ask cus the flirting isn't enough of a clue for me." This would be his chance to confirm or say, um no...I was just playing around and just being my regular friendly self. To use the word 'bloody' with your name shows he was probably irritated with you. I can only guess why. Maybe for not figuring out he likes you? But I'd be cautious to be sure if getting together with him that there isn't more of short tempered signals, being easily irritated, etc as that would not make a pleasant or the best dating partner.
Now if you have no romantic designs on him, just tell him. "By your frustrated and disaappointed response to my answer, can I safely assume you have romantic interest in me and would like to date? Cus if so, I need to let you know That tho I like you as a co worker, I don't feel that way towards you in return. This way, you get to the root of the issue, you don't make yourself look dumb even if wrong but actually more self confident to be able to come out and ask such a thing, and you won't be left wondering what it all mentions. It is certainly within your right as far as social norms and manners to ask his intentions and to make himself more clear to you.
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