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making out with my best friends girlfriend.
So I am a male and I'm 21, this past weekend I attended a party with at my best friends girl friends house (there were other friends as well. We were all having a good time then it came time to go to bed because everyone has had enough. I send them to bed and My best friends girl asked if I would cuddle with her. Before I tell you what my response was, I became friends with this girl before I knew her boyfriend, I even asked her out. So when she asked me I said yes, I knew where this could have gone, we downed quite a few drinks and we weren't ourselves. So we are cuddling and then we start talking and she asks "do you still have feelings for me" I didn't want to reply but I ended up saying yes anyways. We continue to talk about how she felt sorry that she didn't give me the chance I deserved and how the past two days she saw how much I really cared (I am just a caring kind of guy). After a little bit of conversation we are face to face and I ask her what are you thinking, I don't really remembered what she replied but we ended up kissing, I stopped her and I told her " why did you do that" she had no clue but I didn't question it and kissed her some more. We talked some more and I told what we are doing is really wrong I love your boyfriend we are practically brothers, and she understood but she kept repeating that "I don't think it's fair for you to be alone while i'm happy with him" I said I rather you be with him than with me and I knew when I said that I should have left but I stayed in bed with her, and we continued talking and we ended up making out some more. I once more repeated why are we still doing this, she then started talking as if she was going to leave him for me, and I told her to not do such a foolish thing. We continued talking until I fell asleep around 4 am. I get use the rest room and go across the room to another area to sleep in. We wake up the next day and we talk about it and she felt horrible about what she did, and she had no idea why she asked me that question, I hated myself to my core because I allowed it to happen. We both ended up agreeing that we are not going to tell her boyfriend anything because it would hurt him greatly because this girl was his first girl and maybe the last. I told her that I wouldn't want to hurt him either. So that's that, but ever since then I cannot stop thinking about how passionate our kisses were as if she truly felt something for me. The kiss didn't mean much to me I really liked it but it didn't have any umph. I guess the question how do I deal with this because this guy is my best friend I talk to him every single day and to know that I made out with his girlfriend makes me hate myself because his girlfriend is his world. Help me find closure. Side note: the worst part is we had full control of our actions, the alcohol didn't effect much at all.
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What you did was wrong. and you have to live with the fact that you betrayed your best friend. if you chose not to tell him. okay. but if and when it comes out it will not be good.
You have to understand that she is not your girl. and move on.
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There is no closure. You get to suffer. Seriously. Nothing anyone can say can absolve either of you or make this better. You both fucked up royally and although I actually agree with you that right now, the only thing you can do is suffer silently, alone, and not drag more pain and suffering into this by telling your friend, even that is probably going to cause problems in the future.
The way you describe this makes this girl sound like she is a super shady and an attention seeker. You aren't super special—if she sought your attention like this there is a real chance of her seeking someone else's too. She is probably going to hurt your friend, which means you are probably going to have come clean at some point.
No matter how this shakes out, it's going to suck for you. For now, just keep a good healthy distance from this woman and encourage your friend to have more in his world than just this girlfriend. Pinning all his hopes for happiness on her is probably unwise if she's the kind of woman who'd seek out this sort of attention from her boyfriend's best friend, and then think about dumping him for that friend after a late night make out. You both fucked up, but the particular way she fucked up doesn't leave a ton of hope for long-term happiness for her and your friend.
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