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My friend is going to prom with my crush, despite knowing about my feelings
I am a junior in highschool and I am 17. I have had a crush on a boy who is a friend of mine for about a month now, starting a little while before my birthday. My friend knows this too. He liked me as well I guess, but would not date me due to "bro code", his friend being devastated when I turned him down last year. I have never actually dated anyone before. Despite what my friend has claimed, she has admitted to liking him to other friends and he has asked her to prom, even using cupcakes. I am sure that he likes her now. But she still said yes despite knowing how I felt, and she didn't even tell me until I brought the subject up after finding out. Even though she claims she would never want to hurt my feelings and would not date him, she still said yes to going to prom and acts as if it is nothing. I feel angry and hurt and jealous and betrayed by this. What should I do or how should I respond or how should I feel about her after this?
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It's okay to be angry and hurt, but there is nothing to do.
These two people like each other. Your feelings don't stop that or change that. Honestly, the 'bro code' is a polite excuse people use to let someone down lightly. When two people really like each other, it doesn't matter who they dated or rejected in the past.
He just wasn't that into you. He is that into your friend. It hurts and it sucks, but it's not a betrayal of you. It's just two people being human.
Yes, it would have been better if your friend was honest with you. That would have been more respectful, but it probably wouldn't have made you feel all that less angry or hurt. They'd still be headed to prom togeather and they'd still like each other—and they should go to prom togeather if they both like each other! Shouldn't they?
If you are so hurt and angry that you don't want to have much to do with her, that you can't feel friendly towards her, that's okay. You don't have to be her friend if you are unhappy with her, but she didn't really betray you, and it's not all her fault that she and him have feelings for each other. Thier feelings for each other don't really have anything to do with you, and think about it: Would you really want to make two people miserable because you once had a crush on one of them? That's not really a fair expectation.
Your friend screwed up when she wasn't honest with you earlier on—probably because she was afraid of hurting you. He screwed up when he said it was 'bro code' when what was probably true was that he just didn't feel the same way about you—probably because he didn't want to hurt you.
They screwed up in how they handled this, but probably not because they intended to betray you, but because these feelings are complicated and confusing, and you are all teenagers muddling through as best you can.
Like I said, it's okay to be hurt and angry, but you also have to remember that there is nothing wrong with two people liking each other, or your crush not liking you back, even when those things suck for you.
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