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Nervousness After Getting Sick
I'm 21, female and my boyfriend is 24. We've been together for almost a year and are sexually active. He always uses a condom and I'm on birth control.
Saturday was the most recent time we had sex and I had a feeling of needing to pee the entire next day after - this has happened to me about three other times since he and I had began having sex but it always went away the next day (two days after being together) but this time it didn't go away. It got to be so irritating to me that I finally broke down and went to my doctor. I had been told that I had a urinary tract infection which I had assumed and I was prescribed a week long antibiotic. She told me that since my bladder was irritated other times before, that I may be an unlucky lady that contracts urinary tract infections at the slightest irritation of the urethra and if that's the case, I'm going to have to go on lifelong medicine and take it every time before my boyfriend and I do anything which, I guess, I can deal with since I'm already on birth control everyday as well.
I guess what my issue is just that I'm now so nervous to do anything with him. It's not fair to him at all so then I feel bad when I tell him no. He tells me he totally understands my apprehension and that he isn't ever mad that I tell him no but I don't want to go the rest of my life with him always being afraid to do anything at all. We talked about it last night after I broke down and started crying a little when I told him I think there's something wrong with me and that its my fault that we haven't been able to be together for a few days, I told him I don't want him to get bored of me since as this point, I feel like I'm not enough to for him because when he wants something, I'm just too afraid to give it to him before we go to bed. He tells me I'm being silly and that I'm the best thing that ever happened to him and I believe him, I just feel bad.
Anyone that says uti's aren't that bad is truly lying; it's the most annoying thing I've ever had to deal with and that's why I never want to have to deal with it again and it's just kind of scary to me that I don't definitely know that I will deal with it again.
I guess I'm just asking if anyone has dealt with this what they did or how I can get over this nervousness and just be happy with myself and my boyfriend again.
Thanks.
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I can guarantee you will have more UTI's during your life. To try to lessen how often it happens, you need to be doing the following if not already doing so:
Drink lots of fluids daily. When i am short on fluids, I am more prone to UTI's. A bladder that isn't being used to its maximum and only has a little pee in it also has a chance of not draining properly and some germs remaining instead of exiting with the urine.
After having sex, go to the bathroom and try to pee. The act of peeing will rinse out any germs that may have entered during the course of having sex. If you can't pee, drink some fluids and pee as soon as you have a need to.
When wiping after using toilet,always wipe from front to back,and dont rewipe with the same TP, use fresh to repeat. This ensures that you are not dragging and liquid from anus or fecal matter towards the vagina or urethra.
If you are experiencing diarrhea, that has been the biggest culprit for me. Sorry for being graphic but you need to know that with some explosive spraying diarrhea, some of that liquid can land close to the urethra or vagina. Even proper wiping doesnt always guarantee I won't get a UTi right after recovering from the runs. But if at home, you can try using a washcloth and warm water to wipe the area gently.
And now an aside, not connected to the urge to pee of UTI's, if part of sex play includes trying to stimulate your G spot, I need to share some important information. The G spot is another place where you can get orgasms from. Unlike the clit which is a more localized orgasm, the g spot is more a full body orgasm. Since you are feeling nervous and afraid, I am going to explain this in detail so you can know what is natural to expect and what isn't.
The g spot is a rougher patch of skin located on the tummy side or upper side of the vagina if you are laying down. It is no more than 2 inch or less inside. The only issue with its location is that it is right in front of a section of your urethra so when the g spot is stimulated, and you are getting close to an orgasm, you can feel an urge to pee. You wont pee, its only the sensation of the urethra recieving any residual stimulation from g spot stimulation. I recommend emptying your bladder just before engaging in this particular activity of having sex so you are assured the bladder is empty. When the urge to pee comes, instead of using your muscles to hold back the flow which also prevents the orgasm, just release and let go. Half of women will release a liquid which is runny and the equivalent of an ejaculation that flows out from you so use towels first in case you think this may be the case. The other half of women, when they ejaculate, instead of flowing out, the liquid released in orgasm flows into her bladder. Scientists have checked the bladder contents from before and after and learned that this is where it goes if not flowing out. I have never gotten a bladder infection from g spot stimulation. If your partner is doing it too hard and fast, it can feel bruised for a day or two after and go back to normal. that happened only once to me and I am in my fifties now. The other time, I already had a bladder infection starting but wasn't sure and I felt the g spot touching more strongly and more irritating instead of good and as soon as I had my appointment, found that it was indeed a UTI and got my meds. If you find you are still extremely sensitive and want to avoid doing the g spot sex, then do so. You can still do the clit ones or read up on the A spot, from the little available I've read, its a spot again on the upper side of vagina right in front of your cervix at the end of vagina. You might try different positions to see if you can get the partners penis to hit it naturally or engage use of a dildo. Doing the A spot can occur during intercourse, or as i said with a dildo. The g spot rarely happens with intercourse as the in and out motion isn't quite the right stimuli for this spot. A finger gently pressing and rubbing and starting slow and speeding up some most likely will do it. I don't know of any sex act that will cause infections unless you"re with a guy who watches porn and believes what he sees, a guy pulling out of a gals anus and sticking his penis straight into her vagina or mouth. ITs made to appear that way but that doesnt happen.
:Your partner should make sure to have very clean hands and clean under his nails and nails trimmed, no rough edges.
Lastly, cranberry juice or tablets have been reported to get rid of UTIs that are just starting. If full blown, they may not have an effect at all. I have only seen a doctor 3 times in my life to get meds. All the rest of time, the cranberry juice got rid of UTI's. Otherwise, I may have been in to the Drs for UTIs a lot. If I had to guess dear, from age 20 til 57, I've probably had UTIs on average 2 times per year and thats following all the precautions I gave you.
What the medical person told you, I'd get another medical persons opinion on. I personally haven't heard of people who got UTIs from the slightest irritation of the urethra and need life long meds for that. Now I have heard of people who have irritable bladder syndrome. If you truly have that, you'd be experiencing it regardless if you ever had sex or not. Sex does not create this syndrome. Its also known as overactive bladder syndrome or interstitial cystitis. Please read this link with info. It also lists some foods that are likely to irritate the bladder same as foods that can irritate the stomach. If you think you have this syndrome, it can't hurt to cut down on or cut out the foods that tend to contribute to this problem and see what happens. The last resort should be you having to go on medication for life. I think you are just scared by something that may never come to be your situation.
I want you to feel free to try having sex, make sure to use only approved personal lubrications and dont let thoughts of the worst possible scenerios fill your mind. What you focus on, your subconscious mind will interpret as being important and desired by you and it may cause you to think you feel something bad where there is nothing bad happening at all, only your worry causing the feelings. If you continue to do all this and still have issues, then yes see Dr again and get tested for irritable bladder syndrome.
But sex as far AS I've heard, doesnt contribute to or cause it. UTI's and Irritable bladder syndrome are 2 very different things with the same feelings. Choose to believe the best instead of the worst at this point dear cus if you don't, you could develop great fears and anxieties that destroy your sex life and that can lead to destroying the relationship too. Dont allow distorted thoughts to control your actions regarding having sex and enjoying it. Since having sex, is not highly likely to cause UTIs for you, the only concern for not engaging in it should be if it is very painful and irritating to you each and every time. If so, go see Dr. as I said to get checked out for that syndrome.
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