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humorist-workshop
Help please
Me and my ex boyfriend broke up twice and then started seeing eachother on a monthly basis it has been a year and 6 months now and we do hav sex..i saw him yesterday but things werent the same we kissed and got undressed and he fingerd me bt wen we got to having sex nothing happend i was ontop of him and he was in me bt weneva i wna ride him he takes hs hands off my body and wnts me to do it alone bt im scared i do it wrong or wen i start riding him he ask me why im being so sexual i mst control my hormones..so then we stopped and watchd movies i thought we wer gna continue to have sex mayb it happen ths time but instead he went and played computer games i felt like shit cause it was like his computer entertained hm more than i did..bt all i can think of is that i must move on cause hes seeing someone else thats y we ddnt almst hav sex..am i right when i say this????
He askd me when am i gtn a boyfriend and i told hm i cant date anyone cause i want a baby bt i made a joke and then he told me i musnt look at him and find someone else to gv me a baby i must get that idea out of my head bt i ddnt even say i want a bby frm hm he just assumeD that i do...i also told hm i wna get fat theres no for me to look nice for and then he told me no i must look nice for him and hs gona smack me if i get fat he dont want me to get fat..hs just so complicated but my main thng is wheather or not hes seeing somebody else eventhough he said he dont want a gf and thers no time for woman..so where do i fit in am i just a sideline bootycall..clearly he moved on..wen i gt hme he tld me it was nice seeing me as always eventho ima stranger i then msgd hm to say thanx for tha night he read it ddnt reply havent heard from him since he dropped me at home.. What do you think i must do cause i think im just gona distance myslf he dont thnk he wil notice or even miss me he cleary got bored of me,we dont even speak like we use to anymore,that almost everday convos it has turned into sometimes.i dont get why hs stl around y dnt he just get a gf iv been so clingy lately and he would ignore me flat bt then after a while shows up again cause he dnt like clingy..why is he stl around..he dont want me and never will so why i dnt get it..what do you think of this whole situation..its probably best to move on..wether or not we hav or dnt have sex its fine i enjoy being around hm its just that it felt like hs reeing someone else and they have sex thats why we didnt even thou he was in me and i was kinda riding hm.....sigh please help
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Sometimes people change over time, even one changing enough so what you felt before slowly morphs into something else and you drift apart. That is common, for two people to outgrow each other.
In your case, this guy is still seeing you for sex, you are complaining about it as its not as satisfactory as it once was but he is urging you to move on and get a boyfriend. That doesnt sound very promising as a person to devote a chunk of your life or whole life to.
When two people meet, sometimes the problem is NRE, new relationship energy. Actually, anything new can be exciting, just think back to Christmas eve as a child and then weeks after Christmas where the desired toys no longer held your interest in the same way. In a relationship, RE is responsible for tricking many people to feel that they are very compatible together but NRE eventually fades, wears off and you are left with the real feelings for each other which lack that same excitement and appeal and whats left pales in comparison. Often its because the two are not a good match.
What makes a good match in a relationship? Two things make a firm foundation for a relationship giving it a great chance to be a happy, healthy and satisfying one.
1. Being each others best friend. How do both treat each other no matter what their mood? Is there understanding, caring, support and unconditional love and being in love?
2. Sexual compatibility is more than two people making the parts meet and doing the act. Their pheremones need to be a match or close match so that even a kiss is much more special and exciting and arouses each other. Without matching pheremones, or good chemistry as some say, even a kiss without chemistry is like kissing a brother or another male relative sexually, its just yuck.
Also coming into play is the need to both have the same or at least the desires to explore certain fetishes together and also both having the same kind of libido. If one is happy with twice a week while the other wants twice a day, you've got a problem and the one with the higher libido which can also be the female as was the case for me and my ex, can become very frustrating. I didn't cheat but many end up doing so to get their needs met.
It sounds like he's over you whether there is someone else or not. There doesnt have to be another female in the picture for a guy to no longer have interest in you. Sex isn't something to prove love. Sex is a natural outpouring a gift one gives to their partner because they love their partner. If both are in love, they will approach sex with a wish to fulfill their partners needs over their own. If one or both are not coming together like that, then it's over dear.
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