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I want to buzz my hair, but......
...my mom says she won\'t go anywhere with me if i do and my dad says i\'d look terrible like that. i\'m old enough to do whatever the hell i want. but i want to hang out with my mom she\'s just too fucking judgmental and that\'s one reason why i hate her. how can i convince them to let me do it? i really, really want to do it. Please please please help me!!!
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Perhaps try telling your parents that this is your hair, and you want to try out different things with your hair, if you end up not liking it, it will grow back,reassure them that it's not permanent. Maybe even ask to sit down and talk to them about it, and state your reasons.
If you feel your mother is too judgemental, try talking to her about it too. She may not realise how judgemental she comes across as, so talking to her about it should allow her to become aware of it and may motivate her to get your hair cut as you like.
Good luck!
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To me as a parent, experimenting with hair isn't a permanent thing like a tattoo so I had no problem with it. Your parents may have an undiscovered fear of what people think of them or will think of them when seeing you with a buzz cut. Legally, there is no law that requires parents to allow their kids the permission on something like this. Only the basics are covered by law so they mush provide housing, food, clothing and not neglect or physically abuse a child. Everything else is open to their own best judgement until you turn 18 and are an adult and the law backs you up on making your own decisions.
You know your parent best. YOu asked, and were told no. Did you ask why your mom would be afraid to be seen with you? She may not have put enough thought into it and not even realize why and not be able to or pretend to not want to give an answer for lack of knowing why. Its a gut reaction for parents, from their subconscious often. I've said no and had my kids politely ask more questions that got me thinking until i saw their point. There is a method I've heard of if a child is turned down to a parent where they ask if they may appeal, like in court. This means you bring more information and different viewpoints to the parents to argue your case without actually verbally 'arguing' with them. The fastest way to shut down a parent considering being reasonable is to come across as questioning their reasoning, calling them names and mean and telling them you hate them. If you can keep a cool head about this, you may still be able to get somewhere.
I want to mention the definition of "judgemental' to make a point that may help you.
It means: an attitude in which judgments about other people's conduct are made. I dont think I heard a judgement in there from either parent. What I heard was bias'es, personal taste, fear of your buzz cut reflecting badly on themselves such as their ability to be good parents, wanting to blend in with general society and believing this cut would not allow your family to do so, negative and distorting thinking where their minds are basically 'fortune telling' what they believe 100% for sure will happen. The issues are within their minds.
You are not a psychologist, neither am I, but perhaps going gently and trying to get each to talk and put into words what their worst fear is, might reveal something you can use to reason your way to getting them to see for themselves that they have no ground to worry about it. You can not present info in a way to make them feel bad, feel embarrassed or wrong because if you point the finger at them or lose your patience and get angry, nothing will happen for sure.
Here is the basic reasoning for Dad. "Dad, you might be right that I might look terrible in that cut but I won't know until I explore it. I don't like fussing over hair and combing/brushing. I don't just want to do it cus other kids do, I want to do it for me. Whats the worst that could happen? I won't like it and I will have to let my hair grow back. You'd have to hate the way I look until my hair grows back.
For Mom, "Mom, if you wouldn't go anywhere with me if I got the buzz cut, I am guessing you'd feel pretty embarassed to be seen with me looking like that right? Is is possible you'd wonder what other parents are thinking of you, whether you're a bad parent because of how I look? What about parents whose kids lost hair to chemo, or had it all shaved off because of a bad lice problem? If it would make you feel better, we could agree to tell people that I shaved all my hair off because of a continual lice problem. If I like my cut and decide to keep it that way, then we tell people I liked the freedom of having no hair to mess with that I decided to keep it this way a while. Otherwise, i grow it back if I change my mind. And with that story, you don't have to fear what other parents may think of you.
If this doesnt work, try an adult family friend or an aunt, uncle or grandparent who see's things your way and ask if they could sometime soon work the topic of you getting a buzz cut into the conversation. Not blatently calling only to talk about this. Something like, hey Ann/Andy said they might be getting a new hair do, a buzz cut soon. How do you feel about that?" They get your parents talking and can then share their own (supportive of you) views. If you are not 18 yet, able to make your own decisions legally, then these are your only chances. If they don;t know, you'll have to wait until 18.
based on 'just not wanting to be seen in public with you' that is not enough information and not a judgement. For example, if she explained that she is afraid of what other parents and friends would think of her parenting skills if you did that, how it would reflect on her, then what is causing her to say no, has nothing to do with judging you.
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