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I have a date thursdau


Question Posted Wednesday November 4 2015, 4:01 pm

Its just I am a 26 year old female and I have never been sexually active before in any way shape or form or fashion and didn't know how to go about it.

[ Answer this question ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?


rainhorse68 answered Thursday November 5 2015, 10:24 am:
Hi there! I assume you intend to have sex with your date? That's fine. Many couples are active sexually, as you might say, before committing to full intercourse. Often for quite some time. that does make things much easier, but of course, there are no rights or wrongs. And if you've chosen not to indulge in any sort of horseplay/petting (or call it what you will) with a guy before, that's perfectly OK. I'd suggest that when the moment comes that it's lloking like you're about to begin foreplay, leading to sex, then you tell him straight and outright. Basically, that you haven't met anybody yet that you have felt the urge or desire to become physically/sexually intimate with. But you want to with him. You'll want him to be patient (if necessary) and understanding (definitely). The urge and it's associated physical/sexual responses are of course, completely natural and spontaneous. You don't need to do anything to make these happen. You'll want to make sure you've discussed a sound method of birth-control in advance, obviously. That removes any pregnancy fears which won't help the anxiety you'll be feeling. It's natural to feel anxious, at whatever age you first have sex. And indeed when having sex with any new partner for the first time. You may or may not agree, but personally I think you could take a lot of the pressure off by telling him that you're NOT saying you're going to have full, penetrative intercourse today/tonight absolutely certainly? Maybe say that you'd like to explore the (new to you) physically intimate side of relationships, and see what happens? That you need him to respect your limits and acknowledge your hesitancy (if your find you hesitate, you may not!). You impose the boundaries as, if or when they come up? Hopefully he'll be the kind of guy that can take all this on-board and comply? If he isn'tt, if he seems overtly annoyed or (even worse) a bit argumentative or aggressive about it...you might want to ask some questions about the sort of guy he really is before you commit anyway? Activities which fall short of full sex, but further than a kiss and a cuddle, would include him touching/caressing (and kissing if you fancy) you initimately. Your boobs and tummy and neck are very sensitive and sensual areas, in addition to your sexual organs. If you're comfortable with him handling you sexual organs, go with it of course. And guys might well be completely satisfied in the early stages with the 'handjob' (or whatever term you like). It would be very pleasnt for him to have you make him ejaculate. Or oral-sex, if you like the idea? Most guys love this. Such activities are much less 'threatening' (intimidating might be a better word) as you might say than leaping straight into full sex. It's quite impossible in a QandA format like this (or anywhere else to be honest) to give you a full description of everything you and he might want to do, everything that might happen, how you do it and what it will feel like when a couple 'get it together (to any degree) first time. I hope I might have given you some ideas to think around? I guess, bottom line, is you're going to need to put yourself in his hands to some extent, and display a lot of confidence and trust in your boyfriend. So make sure he respects you and fully deserves that trust. If there's a big element of doubt (at any stage) thenYOU have the confidence to put on the brakes, as it were, and don't go any further. It's NEVER a good idea to go any further than you feel happy and comfotable with. A bit nervous, and excited is fine. But if it's too much too soon, recognise the point and stop. Hope he's a sound, trustworthy and loving guy, and you BOTH have a really great, enjoyable and satisfying time. Note, I'm saying BOTH of you!

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