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How to best prepare for sex as petite female with a tall male?
I'm very petite at 4ft 10in tall and 80 pounds. In the next few days I plan on having sex with my boyfriend for the first time and he's very tall and large at 6ft 3in.
I'm NOT a virgin, I've had sex about 4 times with my ex-fiance but, he was very bad in bed. He refused to use any kind of lubricant and didn't like foreplay, he always just tried to jump right into it and it put me in a LOT of pain. Now I'm really scared to have sex again but at the same time I want to try with my current boyfriend because all my friends brag about how good sex is.
How can I prepare myself? I don't want to wind up sobbing in pain...
I'm 21 and I feel really awful because I think so badly of sex and I want it to feel good.
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It is my feeling that in order for you to enjoy sex that the first thing you and your boyfriend need to do is talk about it first. Yes talk first do second. You should tell him you want to have sex with him because you love him or have feelings for him. But he needs to know your past sexual experience(s) were every painful and why. If he has any feelings for you he will understand and want to know what needs to be done so that you can enjoy sex with him.
For any women to enjoy sex she must be comfortable. Meaning comfortable in where and on what they are having sex on. That they will not be disturbed or intruded upon. You are both adults and entitled to a sex life though trying to have sex in a parent's basement may not be the best place to do so and be comfortable doing so.
Next is foreplay which is really important for two people making love the first time together. Getting comfortable with each others body and being naked with each other is very important to being relaxed when the time comes for intercourse. Especially for the women as she is the one who can be hurt is she suddenly becomes nervous or has some type of anxiety problem with having intercourse.
Last but most important for the first few times until you two are really comfortable and find positions that work well for you differing heights. That when it comes time to move from foreplay to intercourse that the position be women above. For two reasons:
1. You get control penetration. How fast you take him in and whether or not you are wet enough to accept him. IF you feel you need more lubrication you are in control and can stop to add some K-Y Jelly or other lubricant before allowing him to penetrate you.
2. Given your difference in height this is the best position for the two of you to enjoy each other the first time. After that the doggie position would be another good position and their are many more that you could try and find the ones that work best for you. The standard missionary position probably will not be the best position for the two of you but it is worth trying once to see if it does work for you.
Sex is like anything else in life. While inherently we know how to procreate. To enjoy sex to the fullest we must allow ourselves to try those things we might think we will enjoy. Remember there is nothing weird about anything that happens in the privacy of one's bedroom between two consenting adults. The operative word is consenting. Communication is also important. Talk about it, agree upon it then try it. If you both like do it again. If one does not like it you don't do it again.
This is the key to a good sex life. As I said above if your partner has any feelings for you at all he will be more than willing to take his time to make sure sex with you is as mind blowing an experience as it can be for both of you.
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