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How do I go about looking for a lesbian girlfriend better?
I just turned 21 and I feel like I'm finally in a good place where I can go about dating another woman. Before I always had extremely religious family members around that I know for a fact would disapprove (they are very angry that gay marriage is legal now and think shows like OITNB should be taken off the air) and I didn't want to upset them so I just kept it to myself.
I've always had a strong tendency to be drawn towards women instead of men. I dated a few men just to make my family happy and through that I realized there's a strong chance I'm lesbian,but I might just be bisexual.
My problem is that for one, I can't find anybody local and there are no lgbt places in town. I tried a few gay friendly dating sites but all of the lesbian girls were at least two hours away. The other issue is that the few girls I talked to always asked what other girls I dated and when I told them none they became disinterested and said things like I'm not a "real" lesbian or that I'm just going through a "phase". I just haven't had the chance to date another woman and now that I do I feel like I'm being cast out of the lgbt pool before I even have a chance to find a girlfriend.
When I looked at the bisexual girls, they had boyfriends and wanted threesomes with another girl or wanted a love triangle and that's not me. I only want to date one person at a time and I don't want that person to be dating somebody else.
What should I do to better my chances of finding a girlfriend?
If I do find one and we become serious how should I go about letting my family know or should I just keep it to myself?
My mom got so mad when gay marriage was legalized that she screamed about how the entire country is going to hell and that everybody is being being brainwashed by Satan to think it's okay.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
If you have already tried support groups on line for LGBT people and not found anyone, then all else I can think of is to see if you can find people of like minds through Meetups.com this is a site where people can meetup for any thing they might have in common or start a group in their area if there isn't one already. Those who like going on hikes, walks, moms with babies in strollers, natural health, yoga, cribbage game nights, etc. Whatever you can think of can be found or created there. the big question is whether its in a big enough city or near enough to one to have a lot of people to draw from. It just may mean having to go online and check where the bigger concentrations of LGBT friendly groups and meetups are located first and then figure out how feasible it might be for you to relocate there.
As for the parents, don't worry too much about them. Just keep your private life private from them. I used to be in the church and understand how closed minded people can be, afraid to think for themselves and trusting and believing too easily what is passed on from the pulpit. As far as church goes, here's one more thing to try. Check for what gay churches are in your area. I used to be an online friend with a pastor in Ohio who was not gay but a co-pastor at a gay church. The congregation was part non gay but gay supporters so one could really feel loved and accepted somewhere. Again, you may live rural enough that you need a bigger city to live in to have this option and there is for sure a way to meet others.
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