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Mom Might Be Cheating
So, I am 11 years old and am getting really suspicious of my mom. 3 years ago she got these really weird love texts at midnight. I forgot about them all until a few weeks ago. She started sending herself love messages, she created a secret email account with the username Until 2020 Dear and she has been getting these really weird phone calls. I am not sure what to do but at least my dad knows. He doesn't know what is happening but I am not sure what to do. Should I dig deeper to get an answer or should I get help from a counselor. I don't want to tell anyone though because I am afraid it will get her in trouble with her job. What should I do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
First, a person's private life, happily married, cheating, gay, etc... is not the business of any employer and can get an employer in trouble with the law if they cause trouble or let a person go, so I am sure Moms job is safe. As long as she abides by their dress code, (ie no tats, no piercings, no mini skirts for example as a few common ones) then she should be fine there.
So from what you say, Mom received secret texts, phone calls and emails. How you know these are supposed to be a secret is beyond me unless you have been snooping already. Obviously, these are no longer a secret from you or Dad, so apparantly she is not trying hard to keep them a secret as she feels she is doing nothing wrong and may indeed be doing nothing wrong. To my knowledge, it has never been a crime to text, talk or email someone of the opposite sex if in a relationship or married and it isn't cheating. It only becomes an issue if a person pours all their time and life into some unknown outsider and neglects duties to family members, namely their mate and children. Otherwise, it is not cheating. If you are having personal isues with it, then perhaps you need to go talk to your counselor at school and let them know whats bugging you.
Think about this for a moment....there are many simulation games with an avatar you create where you can interact with on screen in much the same way as you would in real life. One most popular venue I am familiar with is called Second Life. One can experience all sorts of things there that might be dangerous in real life. I dont swim, but here I can, or go surfing for example. But theres also going to places to listen and dance to music with whomever you meet on screen. I have met many men who say they are married and make it a point that ladies know that. They are only a friend online, although some of the dances for example that a dance place animates your avi with are risque, sexy and the avi;s kiss and hold each other tight. My husband and I both play from time to time and have met interesting people but its only for fun and we dont consider it cheating although some people tend to forget its a game and get sucked into things emotionally like its for real. Texts and calls may come from someone she's met on line in some venue or another. I can't say why its not strictly in a game or on pc but calls too for her. She may just be craving more attention emotionally, not sexually. Getting the compliments from other guys. Or perhaps she has realized she is bi-sexual meaning she likes men and women and is committed to you and Dad but also has these yearnings. It isn't your business to dig into this and snoop and play private detective as it is her life to live as long as she is still there for you, no harm done. She may be waiting until you turn 18 before she goes ahead with experiencing a female or another male in full in real life. The 2020 thing has me thinking she is determined to be your mom and raise you and not bring any great change into the picture at this point.
Think on this, it doesnt take perfect love to create a baby. Two people can become parents due to their contribution of egg and sperm, but they may not be the best match for each other. When we marry young, we are not always quite aware of all the things that go into finding the right mate for ourselves. Some luck out and they are best friends but dont quite have the romantic love. I married young and ended up with a man who was verbally abusive the entire time I stayed with him. I left after my kids grew up. In cases like that, I would advise others to get out early cua it messed up my kids witnessing this. So you never know, this may apply to your parents, as great as things look. Its between them and their decision to work things out for the best for each of them. Some day when you are older, you will understand how important it is for each parent to be as truly happy in a relationship as they can be if they can't be with each other. And marriage counseling is for them to decide if issues become worse.
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