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Runing out of options!!!!
Okay so like me and my high school ex boyfriend are seeing each other on once or twice on a monthly basis since april 2014 ntil now august 2015 but before that we broke up twice and then startd speaking last year..Wen we together everything is so perfect i could see that he changed from how he use to be when we dated coz now he would be more of a boyfriend type,cuddling,holding my hand,gets excited to see me etc to speaking to each other almost everyday whole day eventhough we are just friends,he kept on hinting bout wanting a baby or asking me when am i gettin married or telling me that im showing of his property cause im wearing tight tops and yes we do have sex he would always say things like i can get attached to him or i can use hm for sex and he will save me if i had to die bt he wil die instead and he cand he can show me the world and i use to tell hm about all the guys who liked me or had a thing with and then he would gve me advice or tell me i should wear alot of clothes so they cant see anythng and he would tell me bout the girls who likes him and who he kisses...but now all of a sudden this month (august) it feels as if things have change like me drifting coz we went from speaking to each other everday to hardly ever speaking or just sometimes,and when me do chat he dont reply to me,bt he gets and reads the msgs and then replies whenever,i saw him saterday 22aug and i could see by his actions that he missed me as much as i missed him..i then send hm a few msgs to say thank you for the nice night but he ddnt respond and he always use to afta i saw him,i then send hm another few msgs and then he told me "such a tripper you are" yesterday i send hm msgs bt he ddnt reply again and then this morning i send hm a msg and then he's response was "Why so lastag lately" and then i just said sorry for being being so lastag and bothering you nd he mst enjoy his day,dont thnk he will reply anytime soon...a few weeks before i saw hm he just went missing in action well he was online and stuf just neva spoke to me and when i askd hm whats wrong he said he just feels like being alone lately and then we started speaking again almost everyday and then i saw him saterday and when i did it was nice as always cause i told him i miss him and then he randomly asked what im doing his thinking bout going home but thought about the woman who misses hm if i feel like seeing him so i said yes and then he fetch me.told me i dont love him anymore cause i dont greet or give him a hug..neither of us has moved on yet i asked hm if hes gna tell me if he has a gf one day and jhen he said probably yes but he dont think he will feel anythng for anyone anymore and he sometimes bring up old memories of us or ask questions like how do i think we would turn out if we had to meet for the 1st time or whats my favourite part bout wen 2gther or having sex cause to him the first kiss is always the best he asked me what do i want in a guy and then i tld hm i want some1 who knws what they want and do smallthngs like go to tha beach or park and then he told me he knws what he want and kissed me and the following week we went to the park..he even asks me if i can go shopPing for hm cause he dont have time and stuf...im so scared of losing him eventhough we not yet official,i love him so much if he dnt hear from me for a while eventhou i keep on sending him msgs he would randomly send a msg and ask if im still alive...but this month i dont knw why the sudden change why he dont wana speak to me anymore or reply to my msgs i miss him and i miss speaking to hm like we use to..my friends told me to let him go,just back off and if he cares he will show up again..its so hard not speaking to him i really dont know what to do i really dont cause i dont want to lose hm..it been a year and four months that we spending time together and we jst friends but wen we 2gther its like we are meant to be and to think we broke up twice before that ..do you think that therz a possibility he got tired of me or that he moved on and dont want to tell me..he has never lied to me before and when he hangout with his friends he would tell me cause the friday he told me he was with family and saterday before i saw hm he said he was suppose to do somethng with hs dad but hs not goin his rather going to chill smoke weed and play facebook poker and then i saw him the night and we smoked 2gther...i really ddnt mean to b a nuicense and bother him bt nw he alreadi thinks that i am..what do i do,i cnt eat or sleep..i dont wana loose him oot again..just dnt understand why the sudden change this month..why is he acting so,what do you think? The nli girl hs been seeing is me did he move on mayb! Did he get bored of me? If he wantd space why didnt he tell me" why dont he wana reply to my msgs and only does it weneva? Should i back of for a while and wait till he shows up and then wen i see him i should talk to him about it cause when he dropped me at home he said see you next time so im hoping that thers gona b a next time..I realy ddnt meant to.. bother hm and be lastag just wntd to speak to hm..mayb its my own fault or may im just tripping..need advice on what to that..what do u think bout this situation
Please help me why might he be acting so this month is there a chance that we might get back together mayb or will it just lead to anther dissapointment by the looks of it or am i just overthinkin things heavy and mayb he just wants space and everythng wil b fine and il see hm again like he said
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I've seen your post before, sometime in the last week or two maybe. Surprised to see it again.
All I can say in short without repeating it all again is that 'communication' is the key here. Good communication can prevent or cure any misconceptions, misunderstandings, assumptions, confusions and fears and wondering what the other meant, etc...
It sounds like he isn't really telling you whats on his mind, what thoughts he has that are bothering him and neither are you. You both may think you are communicating well but from what I've read so far, I'm led to beleive that most of your conversation is superficial or at the very best, surface level like 'how was your day at work, how come you didn't text last night" and a shrug for an answer, or having the finger pointed at someone else or you as the problem or issue is not good communication skills. Your current generation grew up with iphones, and tablets and even a lap top is ancient technology to you. I was around and grew up when there was no cells, no pc's and we actually learned to communicate face to face with friends as we saw them, not over distance by cells, and todays generation was robbed of the experience of knowing how to hold a normal face to face conversation with anyone so that now universities are offering classes to teach students how to communicate.
It is vital that the two of you learn some effective communication skills before your other relationship issues have a chance of being solved. You can't make him learn, you can only suggest it. But hunt at the libary or in bookstores for books on learing how to communicate effectively with others. Ask the librarian or clerk for what you are looking for. Search you tube for video's that explain how to do so. With good communication, at best you will solve all your issues with him and both realize you just didn't understand each other but do now...or one of you or both may discover now that you are communicating effeciantly that the two of you are not right for each other at all, no matter what feelings your heart has, and that it is better to split up peacefully and move on to find the one who is right for you. Hope this helps you.
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