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Waiting for my boyfriend who is going to prison part 2
I recently asked the question about whether or not I should wait for my boyfriend who was involved in a prostitution sting...I should have been more specific. It was a child prostitution sting, that's why he's looking at up to 7 years in prison. The ad says 19 year old girl & then when the "john" gets there they make little hints insinuating that she's actually underage. I'm not sure about all the details, & it makes me sick so id rather not know. I've had more time to think about it and obviously I didn't know the real him, only who he pretended to be. I have to move on. But the second question that's been bothering me is should I put him on the birth certificate? I want my son to have my last name for sure. But if this really is the sort of evil person he is I don't think I want him to be an influence on his life. And I know if he wanted rights he could fight for them later on, but I doubt he would get much visitation when he is most likely going to have to register as a a sex offender..please let me know your opinions, and thank you all for your advice from the first part of my question. I just want to do what is gonna be best for my son.
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no, i wouldnt put his name on the certificate. Like you had stated if he wanted to be in the childs life he could fight later on. i think itll be better to help you forget it, he used you and pretended to be someone he wasnt. i would follow what you think will make you happy in this situation.
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No I would not put his name on the birth certificate or let him know when the child is born. as for having a last name your son will have a last name, YOURS. As for visitation, the father can try but if he is a registered child sex offender he is going to have a problem getting them, especially if he has trouble finding you.
Now you are entitled to child support from him even while he is in prison. He will be assigned a job in prison that pays some money not much it depends on the job, how much the prison earns from his work, less what it cost the prison to house, feed care and guard him. Usually the prisoner is left with $1 to $2 an hour. You would be entitled to a portion of this money
and the justice system would see to it that you are sent it.
IF he is paroled or on a sex offender list he has to make regular visits to either his parole officer or local sheriff. They would also see to it that funds are withheld from his job and sent to you. This could be done through the courts or family services so he has not contact with you.
I suggest you contact an attorney or the legal aid society for help with this.
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Depending on your state, you might not be able to put his name on the birth certificate without his participation in that process. In some states, only husband's names automatically go on the birth certificate. In all other cases, the man has to sign some paperwork, or be present at the time of the birth.
So, it might be a non-issue.
Here's the thing tho: Having his name on the birth certificate doesn't change his legal rights. It's even a bit mistaken to say he has to fight for them - he really just has to ask. If you want to deny him any rights as parent - YOU have to fight for that, whether his name is on the birth certificate or not, whether he is on the sex offenders registry or not. It's your job to prove why he shouldn't have parental rights. The law always assumes that he should until someone challenges it and proves otherwise. Of course, if he is a sex-offender and an ex-con, that wont be too hard to prove, but remember that the courts generally assume that the child has a right to have relationship with the father. That is the place they start from.
Personally, I think if you are able to put his name on the birth certificate, you should - only because it's part of being honest with your son. Not as your son's last name of course, that should be your surname, but since you know who the father is, it should be included. You might not always be around to answer your son's questions, or true information may be hard to find. So don't leave that kind of doubt and uncertainty in his life if you can avoid it. Put the name of his father on the certificate if you are able too - not because the father deserves it - but because your son deserves the truth, even when the truth sucks.
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