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How come when people notice I've lost weight, they tell me to stop losing?
I'm still overweight, how does saying that help me? It's weird to me people find it suitable to talk about my weight to my face, too, unless they're my doctor. My boss has done it, dad has done it, "friends" have done it... I've never commented on anyone's weight to their face, it just seems way inappropriate, whether they've lost or gained. Even gossiping about it with someone else is a bit embarassing and feels like something you shouldnt do, you know? But some people are so shameless, lol. I have to lose weight for health reasons, just because I try to avoid chocolates at work or don't bring fast food to work doesn't mean I'm anorexic. I'm still overweight, do I look anorexic or bulemic to you?! Ugh. It's my body and I want to be skinny, why must people try to force me to look how they want me to look? They want a diff hair style, why dont I waste my money getting my nails done, etc. even a trainer at the gym once tried to discourage me from trying to become skinny, cause to him, muscley girls are the most beautiful. Wtf? Thats how I knew he was the wrong trainer, he's supposed to help me look how I want to look, not just what he finds pretty. Help, please.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Fitness?
If you are under Drs. care and your Dr. has periodic checkups with you to see your process and feels your current weight loss is not too much, and that more can be lost yet for health reasons, then go for it.
If the weight goal you're shooting for is Drs. recommendation and fits your height, age, and bone structure (which is valid to a healthy weight for a person) and you are not trying to look like what YOU think is right for you then its fine. I mention this because your words "he's supposed to help me look how I want to look" makes me wonder if you have enough info from Dr. and know how much would be too much loss in your case. You may not be this way at all but too many women have a picture in their mind of what they want to look like and due to age, height and bone structure, it's not possible to ever get there to that image in their mind.
As to a possible reason so many are all saying the same thing to you if you are still in healthy range and according to your Dr haven't lost too much, it could be simply that they are so used to how you looked before and the loss enough to be noticeable, that to them, you look skinny now. But its all in comparison to the 'before' state. Lets say you had weighed even more than you did and lost enough weight to get to the weight you actually started at before losing, you'd get the same comments.
Is it right to make comments that include advice unless asked for? No. But most people today don't know that. I think a part of it may be that the general public has gotten hooked on reality shows and competition shows. The mentality with that is that it is okay to know every little detail of another persons life and have an opinion about it, to be emotionally impacted by anger, fear, etc to the point of taking action to give your opinion. Competition shows like dancing with the stars and America's got talent, make us believe that a person has to be extremely good to be liked and chosen and yet there are many great talents who don't win the prize. And people may wonder if others are going overboard in trying to do better in something, in your case losing weight.
If it frustrates you this much to mention it here to us, I am sure you'd like more than to know why they do it, but how to stop it. If so, read on.
People don't like when the tables are turned on them, and they are put in the other persons shoes, but it is the best way I know to identify with how someone else feels so it should work to help them understand how you feel without you having to sound harsh by saying, "It's none of your business, get a life or mind your own business.
So...next time someone comments that you have lost too much weight, turn the tables on them without commenting on what they just say or answering their question. If you can do the following with your heart in the right place, its the best way for many people to learn. If you do so for a revenge to get back at them, then they will pick up on your negetive energy and likely close up and not learn from what you say. If you do the following with a heart to want to help them learn an important life fact and some manners to help them have better relationships in the future with others, they'll pick up on your positive energys and most likely this will have an impact on them.
So all you have to do is start asking questions about their sex life, something else that is nobody elses business and whether they answer or not or depending on how they answer, then give them your opinion of their sex life. Here's some idea's of what to possibly say:
Ask something basic like how often they have sex or when's the last time they've had sex. If they don;t get the hint and stop there, ask anything else you can think of: do they use the Kama Sutra, do they practice safe sex, have they tried tantric sex, are they into BDSM, if heterosexual, have they ever had sex with the same gender, do they watch porn, are you multi orgasmic, the list of possible thing you can ask that are none of your business on their private sex life just goes on. Some people are easily redirected and may actually answer you while others may not answer, or say it's none of your business. No matter how they respond you move on to the most important step, its' not just asking questions that aren't their business but giving advice that wasn't asked for.
So your next step is to ignore whatever way they reacted and give your advice. For those who didn't want to answer, you tell tell them you believe they need to have more sex. For those who actually answered some questions, you tell them, you think that they should have less sex, they're obsessive with it, a nymphomaniac.
The fact that you're giving them now your opinion about their sex life is enough for them to finally get it, that its none of their business to give you their opinion if not asked it for cus they don't like when the same is done to them. I don't think there are any people who will like this being done to them.
Instead, relax and have fun while making a point and hopefu in manners.
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