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Am I going to marry him if ever he will say yes?
Hello. Uhm, im in a long distance relationship for like 2 and a half months and i can say that its really hard. We never see each other. by the way im 16 turning to 17 (oct) and my boyfriend is 18 turning to 19 this coming June. our first month, everything is perfect, no misunderstanding, we're just happy all the time. we talk everyday using fb or Skype. we always spend 3-5 hours talking and talking. In our 2nd month, i feel like our relationship is starting to fall, we dont talk that much and sometimes, we have a misunderstanding. Thats because of our time and distance, he started to work and i feel like he dont have time for me. Yeah i love him and i can't deny it. The day of our second monthsary, we talked and since that day, we fixed and we tried to understand each other. he's aloof sometimes and he's the one who told me that but i noticed it. A while ago, we talk about the distance again.
(He knew that im impatient)
i told him that i can't afford to go to his place coz its too far and the plane ticket is expensive (we're like 9000 miles away) i told him that if i will go to his place, i will not stay long, i have to go back where i came from. and he said
"Why would you go back? It would be so hard to get back to the US again, Plus if you were going away again, i wouldn't do it in the first place"
(i live somewhere here in asia and he lives in the US)
.. i told him that i can't stay forever because im not a citizen there, and i told him
"only if i will get married there then it would be easy"
and he said
"yeah, i know, Its just I don't know if im ready for that."
i told him that im not forcing him , he's the one who will decide on it, he said
"were both young, i will be 20 next year and u will be 18 but okay, i will think about it"
i told him that im ready, just decide if he wants... (the condition is, when we get a marriage papers, we will not form a family, we will still treat each other bf/gf and not wife and husband, we have to work before we will form a family) .
.. what if he will say yes, what should i do? i feel ready but im not sure if i can handle my part if the time comes. what do you think? am i goig to marry him if he will say yes?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
A big issue for two people who get along great online in an LDR, is when they finally meet, thats the first time you'll have a chance to know whether you both have a pheremone connection, or as people call it, Chemistry. I have a link to an article about pheremones and chemistry.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
While the effects of it (pheremones) are not so dramatic in a one time scientific test upon a person, I can attest by personal life example, when two peoples pheremones are not compatible or have little in common, the end result over time, (not necessarily when first meeting) is to become disenchanted with, there is no desire sexually anymore and people divorce or cheat at this point to get sexual needs taken care of.
In an ideal situation, whether dating or married, a relationship has both 'being best of friends' and 'sexual compatibility' as the supporting foundation of a relationship.
Where people get led off track is they mistake something called 'new relationship energy' with real chemistry because of the excitement level. NRE is something humans experience from childhood in other situations. Example: Theres a toy you wanted so bad as a gift and you told the parents about it over and over. Obsessed over a friend who had the toy and in store, you'd try to play with it. Once you received the object you desired so greatly, it was fun for the first couple weeks, maybe even months but eventually began to lose it's interest to you. That, is this energy I speak of. Exciting at first but slowly fades away. It happens in relationships and you have no way of knowing if you will even have that connection with him once you're able to meet. then how can you be sure its the real thing or just NRE at the time?
It is best to meet in person first and have a chance to get to know the person over more than a handful of months time. The best way I can think of is for you to find a way to attend college in the u.S. IF You can work that out and the two of you see each other as often as possible without getting married. Then after you finish college, you'll know if he's not the one for you and return home or you stay and marry him if he's willing. If he's not sure by time you graduate, then its not meant to be and you go back home.
Getting a marriage license but not living together and not being a couple in the full sense of the word is not going to help you determine if he's right for you. So with all that said, I have no psychic abilities to foresee your future, and so I can't tell you if you will or won't marry him but with the information I've shared, perhaps you have a better chance of determining that for yourself.
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