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I don't understand.


Question Posted Monday April 13 2015, 1:00 pm

Is she avoiding me? or should I give her space?
I texted her today and yesterday and the day before yesterday. We texted maybe about 20mins. then she would make an excuse like she would take a bath or go to church. She said "wait" and I waited for her text but nothing. She's not like this before,I mean she would make an excuse like that,but after she finished whatever shes doing she would text me. And whenever I was online on Facebook,and shes Online too,she would be Offline right away.


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Dragonflymagic answered Monday April 13 2015, 4:04 pm:
Texting is not the same as conversation and yet people tend to treat it as such. Texting is appropriate is the person is somewhere they can't talk out loud such as hanging at the library and the phone vibrates and they can answer back without speaking. Or if at home or the weekend, a person has homework, chores, family obligation and personal time stuff, all to take up their day. A text received for many is answered back and forth but often people have other things to do and leave the phone to go participate or do whatever needs be done. So they aren't able to answer back. Everyone needs personal space time. If she isn't clear as to why she can't answer, you can ask if she needs some personal time or has other things to do and if so, what a better time to text again.
Although if what you want is a conversation, with immediate responses back and forth, try a phone call. thats what I did before cells were created and still find it a much better way to communicate with friends, even bf/gf. In fact, talking is a step better than texting for a reason that you get to hear the tone of voice to know whether a statement was serious or a tease and that makes it easier to not fall into misunderstanding or second guessing as you find yourself in. A step even better is doing the majority of any talking with some one in person whether you not only have tone of voice, but facial expressions and body language to go on along with their words plus you can get immediate answers. Don't guess what a person means...Ask them. If you suspect a person doesnt enjoy your friendship cus they don't find enough in common and would rather not associate with you, they may be trying to be polite, not hurt your feelings but if you give them permission to be honest with you no matter the outcome, you will get your answer and don't have to continue feeling avoided.
I would say, I know its obvious that I am interested in you. But there's been signs that have me wondering about something. I just want you to know that if you aren't interested in me as a friend or other, that I'd appreciate it if you tell me the truth. You don't have to explain why, and I won't bother you ever again. If you change your mind and want to approach me in the future, I'll be welcoming and friendly.

It really works in many situations. In one job where the office gals sent the male carpet cleaners out, we had to get their paper work at end of day and one was a really quiet guy and looked uncomfortable if I talked too much with him so I said, "I know I'm a chatterbox Paul, and that some people like it, some it drives crazy. So I am giving you permission right now to let me know if you've had enough and need me to be quiet and chill. Just say, Mary please stop the chattering and I won't take it wrong. Believe me, he took me up on it. not all the time and was a happier person during his time in the office.

So give her the permission and an out and see if she takes it. then, don't take it personally. YOu can be a wonderful person for some people and to others, one personality type grates on the other, even though neither is actually doing anything wrong. good luck.

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