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what to do!
22/f
My boy friend and I have been dating for around 4 months now.. And we are in a long distance relationship. Things have been good between us since then.
I had some important exams last week, and my schedule was pretty crazy and I couldn't talk to him much... The communication was minimal.
After my exams ended,I feel things are not the same with us.
He has an exam on the 5th so I decided to give him some space like how he did when I had my exams.
Then we had this conversation :
Him : why do we hardly text these days?
Me : you have your exams coming up and I wanted to make sure that I give you space like how you did when I had my exams.
Him : I find it extremely odd that you are giving me space when I haven't even asked for it.
Me : I will not unless you ask for it.
After this conversation, things were okay with us and we spoke like how we used to previously..
But today, he didn't text me unless I did it first and asked him how his preparations were.. He said they were okay and I asked him if he had a busy day.. He said no... I was wondering why would wouldn't he text me if he wanted more communication?
Im confused .. Am I over reacting here??
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Hi there! It's difficult to give a definitive answer in cases like this. But it is possible to make some observations. I'd say you are more intuitive than he is. You instinctively seem to know when someone needs space? Before they actually scream and shout 'I need some space to clear my mind' etc? Girls are often (nearly always?) more intuitive than guys. There are sound reasons why but lets not get sidetracked right now (chat some other time if you like!). His reply was rather defensive/over confrontational I think? It's very typically male to take this line. Namely, I'm fine...I don't need space....or help. In a way it's admitting a weakness, which guys can be reluctant to do. Especially to a girlfriend. A guy is meant to be able to cope with it. Handle it. So it's possible his silence is him taking a breathing space? One he did not want to admit to needing? It seems the exam stress should be about over now. And you willl hopefully see a return to your more usual communication behaviour and patterns? I'm seeing a fairly common male versus female stress-management conflict here. Based on what you're telling me? How about 'playing it by ear' (as they say) for a bit now the immediate cause of the conflict is passing? See how things pan out? Feel free to inbox me any time as and when there's anything to add. We'll have another chat? Look at it with new info, and from a different angle? This is the best I got at the moment. Best wishes. X
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