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I'm losing feelings for a really great guy and I don't want to!
I'm 22 and I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years now I want more than anything to be with him. But for a while now I've been losing serious feelings for him( 8 months) and I've been trying so hard to get everything back . He's absolutely perfect he doesn't get mad at me when we fight and he doesn't stress out about anything . I've been starting to flirt seriously with a guy at work and I always feel so guilty about it but I started losing feeling for him way before this. I just feel so bad because he's so amazing and I don't want to hurt him but I not only love him but his family means the world to me as well the problem is if I break it off with him he would move hours away from me to live this his family and right now he lives with me. I'm just at a total loss. I feel like if I don't stay with him I'll be making a huge mistake but ive been stressing myself out for months.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I think you need to communicate with him and tell him how you feel. Communication is the way to success in a relationship. If he feels the same way or if you guys can figure out why you feel the way you feel, it can help a lot. You shouldn't be stuck in a relationship that you're not happy with and he should understand or try to understand how you feel if he's a great guy.
COMMUNICATE!
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Cold answer? It'e the 'New Relationship Energy' people talk about. When we "fall in love" our bodies produce raised quantities of the transmitter oxytocin. It's a 'bonding' hormone and it makes us concentrate on one individual person in ecxclusion to all others. Biologically it was meant to keep the couples focus on each other and keep them together long enough to have and raise a child and get it through it's initial stages where it is very 'needy' of two parents. 18 months to two and a half years after the big increase your oxytocin levels return to normal. You do NOT necessarily stop loving the other person, but the nature of your feelings DO alter. For a start the 'tunnel vision' fades away and you will start to become aware of other people and other interests more acutely again. It's the point where a 'new' (less exciting perhaps, but more established and committed) kind of love takes over. If it doesn't take over, it's not there. Sorry. Take a look at things armed with this knowledge, maybe? Does he still look like 'the one' or is the relationship outgrown and basically 'all played out'. It's something couples face, though not always knowing what you know now. In effect, not every penny fits the slot and if it doesn't look like fitting it's possibly time to move on.
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