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Should I say anything?
So, I had this guy I liked, ( I'm a female ) and he liked me back. We dated for about 6 months, before he moved and it was hard for us to see each other except by skype and such. I guess that was too hard for me, because I broke up with him. He had a twin brother and I talked to him a lot. After the break up, his twin brother and I talked a lot about stuff and everything, but lately I keep on wanting to see him. I get annoyed and check my messages constantly, waiting for him to respond. I'm not sure if I like him, I'm unsure. Any ideas on what I should do? Am I only falling for him because he looks like my ex? I don't want to stop talking to him or anything. Help!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
What are you looking for dear, have you thought this out? If this was in reverse and you had a twin sister whose boyfriend broke up with her and started paying attention to you and told you it was because you looked just like her, would that be acceptable to you? Attraction is important but too many people stop at that point and look no deeper, especially younger people inexperienced in relationships and dating. If a person is looking only for sex partners, there's not a big need to look much deeper at personality, characteristics and what they stand for and believe in. So if a guy didn't care to learn about that part of you, would you be okay with it? I know almost all females would not. They want a guy not only drawn to her sexually but also to who she is on the inside.
Now apply that to this twin boy. Would he be happy that you have an interest in him only for his looks. Maybe for a couple times if it gets him some sex. But if the two of you haven't a care about each other like best friends would care and know you, then it eventually falls apart.
you have admitted to getting annoyed and checking messages constantly for something from this twin and the two of you have made no commitment to at least hang out together to get to know each other better. So I don't understand why you would get so annoyed.
A truth about Females: Females crave attention from males. Females often make 'having a boyfriend' their top priority and expect the same of the male. Males view priority differently and actually better, juggling many priorities and usually have a top 3, one being job, school and girlfriend. A female with low self confidence tries to get hers from having a boyfriend. It means she will put up with anything, even the bad, because she believes she has self worth if she has a boyfriend. this tends to make a girl act desperate for a guy. Guys are good at spotting this in a female. The good guys will tire of her needing constant attention from him and not having a life of her own and drop her. tHe bad guys will take advantage of that, knowing that they can mistreat her and cheat on her, abuse her and she will stick around because she is willing to settle to less because she is afraid she might not be able to find another guy and he is her mental crutch, making her feel good about herself. If a woman can feel good about herself without needing a guy to make her feel that way, she becomes attractive to men and will attract many and not have to worry about not having a guy to choose from. Between A self confident woman and a desperate but bombshell of a woman, according to male relationship experts, the confident gal will attract good guys every time over the other. This relates to you dear, I have a feeling because you were making a surface level comparison over the guys and confused, so thats why I am going on about this. There's more.
A confident woman will look attractive to many men who are douche bags, simply because they got bored with the other types of females and looking for something they think may be more interesting. What they are responding to is a woman who sets the boundaries and rules, knows herself well and is able to describe that to a man, and knows what she wants and isn't afraid to ask for it. Thats like honey to a bee, a flame to a moth, and men will notice you. It then becomes your responsibility to weed through them all and know which ones know how to appreciate a woman and are self confident themselves as well, and which are the immature men who still need time to grow up, have no idea what they are looking for in a women, and have nothing in common with the female and are a waste of her time.
The only way you'll know is if you take time to learn how to represent who you are as a person....think of it like a job interview, expressing your skills, only here its more personal stuff, what is it you;re passionate in life about, what are your beliefs, hopes dreams, what is important to you, etc... When you can come up with a list about yourself, that should help you come up with a few things that you are looking for in a guy. If you want kids someday...why date a guy a year only to find he is adamant about never having kids. This item would go on a list of must haves in a guy. If he doesnt meet it, thats a deal breaker. sO no matter how cute he is, you break up because you know what you want and won't settle for less and you check the next guy out. I did this in on line dating searching for my 2nd husband. Came across hundreds of guys who wrote me over a couple years because I DID everything a self confident woman does and like I said, it attracted a lot of duds and douchbags but I had my list and criteria for a guy to meet, their first mistake, i dropped them, until finally met the one i am now married to. By contrast, his intro letter to me, stood out in comparison to most males so i knew he was worth investigating further. Dated but a short time before I knew he was the one for me.
I want to see you get to this place dear. If you can do it, you'll know what to do with the twin or whether to go looking elsewhere.
Good Luck!
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