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how to get over ex with someone else
so me and my ex broke up back in April and I know its been a while but post break up we decided to remain friends, we weren t together that long only like two months, we still kinda talked a lot but he recently like about a month ago started dating someone else. when I found that out via facebook and instagram I automatically deleted him. and he did the same on instagram. he used to come into the gym I work at on a regular basis and now since he started dating her he doesn t even do that, which I am somewhat grateful for that .they are in a long distance relationship hes here and shes in a different state. when he popped up in the section of people you may know I saw a picture of them together and it broke my heart, all I keep thinking about is how I wish I did things differently and I start doubting myself thinking I was a horrible girlfriend even though I know I probably wasn t. even though I am talking to someone now the thought of my ex being with someone else stings. plus the guy I am talking to has the same NAME as my ex
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Hurting after a break up and seeing them with someone new hurts. We all get those thoughts, whats she got that I didn't have. Our subconscious mind is where our emotions and feelings come from. And it takes the subconscious mind longer to get over than it does your conscious mind. But I also find my inner child with childish thinking sometimes is also controlled by my subconscious and that is why I had to learn to tell myself/my subconscious when those thoughts came (like encouraging a girlfriend of yours) that there is nothing wrong with myself, i just wasn't a perfect fit for him. Both people have to feel the same. Also, the first or 2nd person we date isn't who we end up long term, life long or married to. It's not going to be healthy for your relationship if in comparing the new guy to the old one, you find him lacking. the purpose of dating is to always go a step better, an improvement in the next person. It is a good thing to continue dating though. It helps if you know what you are looking for in a guy so I will paste in now what the purpose of dating is about. You can't avoid the hurts, but understanding the process will help you feel more confident about yourself. Here goes:
Dating is for determining if there is interest beyond basic attraction, discovering more about the other to determine if you like and can handle their personality traits, and whether there's enough in common, or evidence of destructive habits or tendencies in the other that would harm you emotionally and/or physically and kill the relationship. Depending on what you discover, you either continue dating the person and take it to the committed couple level or you break up.
Dating is more about learning what you do and don't like in a guys character and the same for him. Its a time of making comparisons. Seeing what is lacking in a current partner that you would like to have, or something that they do, or ways they treat you that are disrespectful or hurtful emotionally or physically as in being abusive or violent. When you come up against things like that, you need to decide if you will settle for less or move on to the next dating partner, hopefully always shooting for someone a step better in some area. Make a list of the qualities you like and remind yourself with another list of the qualities you dont like or must avoid because they are harmful to your well being. Review it and update it often through out the years. All of this is good but another important point, if chemistry is lacking, doesnt matter how nice and perfect for you he is, it just won't work. And you can not control if the other person doesn't feel chemistry for you, thus the hurt of breakups. But never think it is you, it's a lack of chemistry, that magic thing called pheremones that match. Its what makes one mans kiss feel spine tingling and another like your brother just tried giving you a romantic kiss. One person may feel something and the other, not.
If you break up, you look for the next dating partner, always trying to find someone a step better than the last partner, basing your choices for the new person on traits you discovered in the last person that you liked enough to look for in the next person, while at the same time avoiding the other things that you won't tolerate.
If all is going well and you develop some serious feelings for each other, you take the relationship from just dating to the committed couple level. At this level, depending on your age, you are dating each other exclusively or if adults, moving in together or getting married.
If you find you keep having the same issues, no matter which guy you date, either you never learned from the past relationship, or perhaps more of the issues are with you and you need to be honest with yourself as to what issues you need to work on within yourself before you can make a good dating partner. I can't begin to stress how helpful having a list of what I liked and wanted and needed in a guy was to me in finding my 2nd husband. Make sure your list is criteria which if a guy doesn't meet it, thats a deal breaker and you won't date, no matter how much interest he shows or how handsome he is, cus there is always someone better. Worked for me. It should work just as well at any age, including high school dating too.
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It sounds like your a little heart broken, but dont the same has happened to me and it hurt like hell. me and my ex dated for 11 months and then a couple of months later went out with a close friend i used to have, when they told me my heart shattered. it didnt help that i would see her everyday and him every weekend. i didnt know what to do i just felt alone like i did something wrong. this feeling carried out for the 6 months they went out and when they finally broke up i was really happy which sounds really cruel. what i should have done was talk to them both and told them how i felt maybe that would have made the situation better but i didnt. my advice for you is talk to your ex. ask what went wrong in our relationship and are you happy with this girl. If he says yes or want to be with her the best thing you could do is get over him. im sorry if i didnt help.
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First off, congrats to deleting him. Thats the first step. Secondly what you are or were feeling from the break-up is completely normal. It is said that it is not the length of time in a relationship that determines its love. It does and will take time to fully move on. It took me 2 yrs for me to fully get over one person. And one week for another. That being said. If you are still hurting seeing ur ex dating or think of him often that means that you still have feelings for them, how ever small those feelings msy be. I recommend working on youfself and becoming happy with who you are. Until you learn to love yourselve completely.. you cant expect anyone else to love you. I recommend checking out the website:
Healmybrokeheart.com.
Alot of the website iz pay. But the free materials i found on there wefe extremely helpful.
Goodluck!
*Jasmine
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