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Binge eating
Okay so I'm a 13-year-old girl and I binge eat. Just today, and keep in mind it's only 2 o'clock, I've had 3 or 4 twinkies, a pudding cup, two bagels, two slices of pizza and a soda as well 4 cookies. We rarely have junk food in the house but when we do I cannot restrain myself from eating it. Even if there's not junk food I'll pig out on vegetables or yogurt. It's causing me to be overweight. Not quite obese but if this goes on I will be. I have a terrible body image and I hate it. What do I do????? How do I stop????
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Well, the answer to stop eating badly is to change how you see your body. The body we all have at 13 is not the body we will have at 23, there's lots more growing and changing to be done. A girl going through puberty is not ever going to look like an adult woman. Plus women naturally come in all different shapes and sizes which are all okay and all women have their own version of beauty. And there are men who have different tastes in what is attractive to them.
However at 13 to early twenties, young guys haven't yet figured out what they really are attracted to. Young boys respond to media's representation of what beauty or handsomeness is just as easily as girls do, thinking they don't look good enough. Girls probably get a worse dose but guys too are worried that girls won't find them attractive.
Before I give a lesson regarding media's beauty and linking that to how you view yourself, I'd like to explain some simple psychology of the war going on in your mind.
First, you have a conscious mind and a subconscious mind. The subconscious mind has many jobs, it runs things while you are sleeping, it runs things like taking your next breath and the blinking of your eyes. It is also where your feelings and emotions are stored.
And here's where your problem of binge eating comes in: It listens with great interest to what your conscious mind is thinking about all the time because the sub mind believes that anything you focus that greatly on is something you want and desire very badly and feels it's goal is to make those wishes and dreams come true. So if you are pretty and average looking as a female for your age but you've chosen to believe that you are not, your subconscious mind believes you want to become overweight and undesirable looking and will try anything to help you achieve that including a drive or irresistable desire for eating volumes of food, lots unhealthy. If you had a good thought process of your image, then your subconscious wouldn't need to change anything or control you differently in any way.
First, you will need to catch when you are thinking those negative thoughts about how you look and replace them immediately with positive ones, in essense arguing with yourself. The moment the negative thought surfaces, you tell yourself, "No. I don't believe that anymore. I have new information now and I know that I am pretty just where I am at." You would need to look at your extra weight as still being beautiful. There are plenty of overweight women who believe they are beautiful and so they are beautiful to the rest of us.
I had occasion to go to a nudist club several times. I got to see two obese women without their clothes on. Just as a casual observer, I noticed that I myself felt one was beautiful and one was not. And I realized right then what the difference was. They looked pretty much the same but one had self confidence while the other did not. Something invisible, untangible like that can make a BIG difference in how others see you. In fact I have watched some dating tips for women from a man's perspective on line in youtube from male dating coaches.
They tell females that self confidence is a big seller as far as attraction to the opposite sex, especially for men. If two women looked generally about the same, or one looked like a made up model or actress, the average looking woman with confidence would win a guys attention over the unreal image of beauty without any confidence.
Think about it, would you be attracted to a guy who was always saying that he isn't handsome or special at all, even though all the girls say things to the opposite? It's a downer being around people who don't believe in themselves, starting with their image.
Yeah, kids can be cruel at your age. You need to realize they are young and don't really know anything yet. If anyone didnt care to date you and said it was because of how you looked, they need to learn tact and better conversational skills and you will need to learn that its only their opinion and personal taste which is not the same of every person on the planet. So it doesnt mean anything and can't have any effect on you unless you choose to believe it. It's when you choose to take it in, and own that same opinion an outsider had about yourself, that your subconscious will aim to make it come true for you. Humans tend to think more negative thoughts than positive ones all the time. I still do and catch myself at it all the time, but immediately I state that's not what I want, and replace it with thoughts of what I want.
I have a link for you to watch. Please do!!! This is Lacy Green who is somewhat of a peer in her early 20s but started in her teens a video series called Sex+ abut sexuality, body image, dating and lots more all geared for young people. You'd benefit from watching many others of her videos. But the one to watch concerning your current problem is titled "she's ugly" and about the things I've been telling you about. She gives more detail with facts and percentages.
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