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Help
For break I stayed at my bestfriends house for a week and we had a party last night. .. And normally I sleep with him but on opposite sides of the bed but last night it was cold and he wanted to cuddle and keep warm( neither of us were drunk we had a little alcohol) so we cuddled... And we're really close but we've never cuddled even if he's drunk... Ok! To the story last night after his girlfriend and everyone from the party left he cuddled with me and in that process he was massaging my back rubbing my thigh and leg and basically caressing my body and stuff and I was trying to hog the blankets and we we're "fighting" and we cuddled most the night.. I wake up and I'm still close to him and I get up to pee and I didn't feel good so I told him I didn't feel good so we cuddled more at 12:30 in the afternoon and now he doesn't want his girlfriend to know or anybody... What does the cuddling crap mean?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
So you are saying that this is something he has never done before except for that one night and following day? I can guess but I could be so far off. It may mean something and may not mean anything.
You really would have to bring it up if it was new behavior. You just say you've been thinking about that night and cant figure something out so you want to know....." If he truly is your best friend and you are close enough to not feel threatened to share your most secret or intimate thoughts, then he should have no problem answering your questions. Be sure to ask why he doesnt want his girlfriend to find out or anyone else either. What does he fear.Based on what he reveals to you about the cuddling, the 2nd question may already be answered.
Here are a couple of possibilities to mentally prepare your self for.
1.He started out as your best friend, got himself a girlfriend but somewhere along the line he fell in love with you too and now finds himself in love with two girls at the same time, too scared to reveal it to each one for fear of losing them.
2. Same story as above except that he has the girlfriend mainly to take care of some needs, one of which may be sexual. But what he wants with you is not just the friendship but the sexual part as well and is afraid to tell you he's in love with you for fear of losing you as his best friend. You may have to ask point blank questions of him regarding either of these situations.
3. He might be polyamorous. There are people, whether male or female, whether single or married, who are not monogamous and never will be, Its who they are. They are perfectly capable of loving more than one person at a time. Some will deny it, especially if they know nothing about it and actually do the opposite of what should be done, hide the fact from both people, thereby not giving in your case, his girlfriend a chance to decide if she wants to be one of two female partners with him in a triad. All involved must be on the up and up due to disease issues, not take on other partners unless all know about and are okay with it.
4. As a male, he may just have been going over the line and not holding in his body's urges and sexual needs to touch and cuddle. Stroking a partners hair, or their body or just cuddling can be a very satisfying switch from just having straight sex all the time. Hubby and I find it very satisfying as something different to do. To us, it is a very intimate thing and we find it gives us our sexual feelings as well. He may have wanted to check out how it feels with you versus his girlfriend, as he could pick up alot on his side as to how satisfying it is for him on an intimate, sexual way. It could be just he was curious. But depending on how he processed that and what he is thinking, it could happen again and he may want to do more.
What you need to ask him is if he still loves you just as a friend or if his feelings are deeper now, and he desires you as a girlfriend.
I'm guessing the two of you have likely known each other longer and have more history together than him and the girlfriend. So you owe it to yourself to find out. Because even if you don't feel it yet, the flame of love can slowly sneak up on you if you are willing to give it a try.
The fact that she knows both of you makes it hard.
He doesnt want her to know because any female hearing this would think there was something up.
oTHER than bi females, I don't know of any females who would cuddle and stroke their best girlfriend all through the night and into the next day. My guess is he has developed feelings for you. If you don't return the feelings, then after your talk, let him know that such touching and cuddling is inappropriate considering he has a girlfriend. If he;s just not that into his girlfriend, he should let her go.
Good luck!
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