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Why did he do this and not tell me?
Hi there.I met this guy from childhood and re-connected with him some time later in my life,about 3 years ago.A month ago,I ended things,and have been feeling miserable.
This past week,however,I found photos of him kissing another woman from about 17 months ago,and the most recent of him and this woman were 11 months ago.From what I saw on his profile,he is still friends with this woman.And they are photos of her in his pics,and the group he hangs with all know each other.And she appears to have a boyfriend as of a few months
My beef with all this is,is that he knew I liked him,and have been pursuing things.3 years we had talked and talked and what I thought,we liked each other. I saw her profile and she has photos of her and him at the beach saying''Were officially official! Hooray! We're having fun at the beach'' And other stuff.I had a feeling he was with her,but couldnt pin point it correctly.
Now,he and I,I thought were going somewhere,so I thought.
Should he have told me,that he was with someone?
And why did he stay friends with her?
Why did he never push me back if he was with her?
And why did he do this?
I just cant get over it.He had photos of them kissing,photo after photo.
All this time,I feel so dumb,because I thought he liked me. Im so angry about this,and its just unwavering to me! Is it wrong of me to feel hurt and outraged? Because I am,I cried alot
Please,any advice?
Thank you in advanced?
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I can't help but think that something must be missing in what you wrote me because you ran into this guy you knew in childhood. That alone does not constitute the beginnings of an official relationship (the couple kind-romantic sort)
You reconnect with him. Sorry you have to spell it out for me.. cus my interpretation of re-connecting with someone I knew long ago is to spend lots of time talking to find out whats up in their life. I cant assume this means that he asked you to date him. Nor can I assume you became sex partners or started shacking up together. There is no clue other than "a month ago I ended things." However, I don't know what was ended exactly cus I don't know what was there to start with. I know it might seem clear to you dear but I wouldn't be a good advice giver if I just assumed things now, would I?
For all I know, you only met as friends for a months period, during which you had higher hopes than were called for and assumed because he was willing to meet you often that he was interested in pursuing you as more than friends.
Even if you and he had officially started dating a month ago, it doesn't matter how many photo's he has of him with ex girlfriends, posing or kissing, thats his past dear. Everyone has a past including you. Just because you may not have many ex boyfriends in your past is irrelevant. The only problem you would have is if he had new photo's posted of girls he was with during the same month he was with you. In that case, he's a player and not worth your time unless you like hanging out with the bad guys regardless of the consequences.
Be honest with yourself. Are you the kind of female who is very territorial and easily upset by any other gal showing interest in the same guy as you have interest in? Do you feel jealous and imagine in detail all the things that she must have had going for her to attract him or mad at a guy for noticing another girl but not you?
Guess what? Lots of females are like that. There are a smaller amt. of females who are very self assured, know what they want and are not afraid to go after it and ask for it. But we also dont hang around waiting for a guy to notice us. That is acting desperate. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
It would help you to feel more self assured, have more confidence in yourself as a female if you understood a few things about the reality of men and women as far as interest and relationships go.
I dont know if I can make this short but I 'll do my best.
Some guys haven't figured out that the models and other media representations of what is the ultimate female, is all fake. So much is airbrushed, photo-shopped. And they break many hearts by ignoring what they assume to be just average looking girls. There are other guys who prefer the natural look and are able to find beauty no matter how tall or short she is, how thin or overweight, no matter what color hair, eyes, skin, etc... and find the no makeup, natural girl look preferable. They dont stand out cus they aren't the guys who cat call and whistle and call out Hey baby where've you been all my life. Thats not serious guys looking for a long term relationship, they're just playing around looking to have fun. Another thing about guys, they may not have it figured out yet exactly what they are looking for in a personality of a girl, but as long as the female isn't really deformed looking like from a disease or accident, in a room of average to beautiful model type girls, a guy will find himself attracted to a woman with self confidence over the one with the looks because self confidence on a woman is like an aphrodisiac to men, they get really turned on and attracted to it. I got this info from real men, not the media, from guys on line you tube with dating advice from a man to women, and also from those I dated who confirmed it when I asked when dating, before I met my 2nd husband.
Too much in relationships is assumed or things said that aren't clear, or we just assume what it means when it means something different to the other. It's the same as you and I, with my having my own interpretation of your words.
Two people should never wonder, but be free to and able to ask for clarification. If in meeting with you, you hoped he would soon ask you to date, the best thing to have done is find out first what his relationship status is. It would be okay to say you got on his profile and saw pics of previous girlfriends. Just don't act jealous cus truly there isn't anything to be jealous of. If you act jealous in front of a guy for past relationships he's had or a current girl he's seeing, even though he's meeting with you just as a friend. you quickly lose any respect he might have had for you. girl, jealousy is a killer.
You could have asked, so I'm just curious, what happened with that relationship...looks like the two of you were doing really good, officially dating. If the energy you are giving off is relaxed, and not antagonistic, then he will feel free to update you and give you details. If you're acting nosey and jealous, he'll clam up because one thing guys hate is drama and they will say nothing that could be taken wrong by a woman who is already acting unstable like she's PMS'ing.
I am sure he'd have told you then why they broke up. Then you could have asked if he had hopes to get back together with her and patch things up. As long as a guys heart is still attached to the other girl, you don't want to get involved and be the temporary rebound date or sex partner. In future get togethers, you could ask if anything has changed with the ex. Pay him compliments such as you enjoy talking with him cus he's easy to talk to, you like this trait or that trait and leave that to simmer. Let him think about it, thats a way of showing interest in him.
So unless I totally misunderstood, I can't see where he did anything wrong dear.
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