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Break ups
I feel absolutely shattered and like my world came to an end. My boyfriend of 5 years dumped me and said he didn't love me anymore and needed to make things work for himself. I don't feel like anything I can do will help and I'll always feel this way. I'm not used to this hookup culture and don't want to sleep with someone before I know them. I'm so lost and scared :( he was my everything and I feel broken. But there's nothing else I can do.
I was there through everything for him. We had a rocky relationship because he struggles with addiction but now that he's actually bettering his life, he doesn't want to date me.
Plus we have been long distance for about 3 years and it was finally gonna be long distance no longer. How can he be so sure that he wants this? He said he hopes I find peace with it.
I feel severely depressed and like I won't find someone for me when I have so much love to give :( sorry for this rant. I just don't know where else to turn
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You two were together for a really long time, of course you're going to be hurt and upset, it's normal.
Don't chase after him, don't try to communicate with him at all. He will realize what he lost eventually because you were there for him through everything.
I don't agree with the adviser below about there being someone else. I mean there could be the chance, but I wouldn't jump to that conclusion.
He may have someone else, he may just believe it's the best thing for him and he's not in love.
Whatever the reason is, you're right that there isn't anything you can do.
Break ups are a good time to find yourself.
A lot of people lose themselves in the other person when they're in a relationship. That's what you did. It's not a good thing to do and that's why you're feeling ten times worse.
Either way, that's over and the next time you're in a relationship, you know not to get lost in someone.
Right now, this is you time. You're going to take care of yourself and let yourself heal. Don't worry about finding someone else. That's not something that should be on your mind right now.
Try new things, work out, go out with friends and just do things that will make you happy. Cry it out, then it's time to move on.
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I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's very unfortunate that you struggled though the hard times with him only for him to turn his back on you once his life took a turn for the better. I honestly feel strongly that he is seeing someone else and has been for some time now. I'm venturing to believe that due to the fact that your long distance relationship was nearing an end he was pushed to end it with you before you found out he was with someone else. Generally people don't leave a relationship unless there is someone else in the picture. I have found the best way to get over a lost love is by finding someone else you enjoy spending time with; someone you can refocus your time and affection towards. It may just be a rebound relationship or just a friendship but if it helps get you over your heart break then thats what you need for the time being.
Now as far as hooking up. Please do not engage in casual sex and don't feel like that is what you need to do. You are worth more than this and you obviously hold higher values standards and a great set of morals. Stick with these morals and don't settle for anyone. Before you engage in sex with anyone be sure he is the one. Not just the one right now or in the heat of the momment.
It may take awhile before you get past all this hurt but I promise you will get there before you know it. For me it took me awhile to smile again when my fiance left me three months pregnant. It hurt so badly. I felt like I couldn't go on. It was my first child and I couldn't imagine being alone to raise a child. He never came back and till this day he has never seen his now 8 year old son. But I was blessed that when my son was almost two I feel in love with a great guy who loved my son as his own. We married and have three sons total and just celebrated our 6 year anniversary. If it weren't for the incredible heart break I never would have met this wonderful man and had two more beautiful baby boys. Everything happens for a reason. You deserve to be happy and you deserve more than what this guy has given you. You will find that one man who loves and cares for you as much as you love and care for him. It will become more than obvious. There will be no questions. You will just know he is exactly the one for you. I promise you will be happy.
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