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tricky situation!
Hey!I am 22 years old! My situation is kinda tricky!
I have been talking to my best friend's good friend since 7 months! We both started talking as friends and a few days back, he hinted that he likes me and I like him too! He said this to my best friend and she reacted in a way that was totally weird! She said she would want us to date but she will maintain her distance from us! She said she lost two of her only friends! And she has been avoiding me since! I have always put my friend before him and told her that I will not date him unless she approves! She had issues previously as most of her friends have been interested in me and I never bothered! With ths guy is been different! He is confused and feels really bad! Am I a bad friend? I am letting go of my needs to make her Happy! Does this make me vulnerable and stupid? Is this a sign of weakness??: O please advice! Soon!: (
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Hello. I think in a way I can understand where your friend is coming from and why she is reacting the way she is reacting and I would suspect it is either from soemthing that has happen to her before or its something she has seen happen to someone else before (I have seen it happen in both instances).
Firstly though you are not being stupid at all and certainly not being weakc by being so considerate of your friends feelings. This is in fact a really nice thing and not something many would consider doing in your place and I certainly hope that your friend can appreciate that.
As for your friend and the way she is reacting to this whole thing... as a couple you and this guy will want to hang out together (it's what two people who are dating do after all) and this means that your friend will now suddenly feel excluded and will probably start seeing less and less of you both and when you guys are out together she will probably feel like she is the third wheel and just feel a little out of place (doesn't always happen but it can do sometimes). And worst case scenario IF things fall apart between you and this guy it will put your friend in the middle where she will end up having to choose. None of this is what will happen for certain but all these things are probably what your friend is worried about which is why she feels she will lose both her friends. I can speak from experience as this had happen to me as well when two of my best friends both decided to move from being friends to something more and at first I saw less and less of them until eventually I hardly ever saw them at all up to not seeing either of them because they had a bad break up and I got stuck in the middle of them. I think the best thing you can do in this situation is to talk to your friend and just reassure her as it may well be all she needs but I would say not to sacrifice your own needs and feelings for the sake of this fear that your friend has as well. It is really nice and considerate that you are putting her first but in something like this you also need to be able to put yourself and what you feel first too. As with any relationship as long as there is balance and you guys spend time together and time with friends, then there shouldn't be any problems. I have always maintained that a good relationshiop is this balance because the consequences are not only loosing touch with your friends but also making the relationship with your partner that much more strained because you are around each other constantly and this is not healthy - both parties need to be able to spend time apart as well and maintain their own independance and friendships with others.
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