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Why am I just now grieving my break up 4 months later?
My ex and I broke up 4 months ago. He started dating someone shortly after and so did I. It was going fine (if you call breaking down crying weekly being "fine"). I was slowly getting over him then I get random text in which I reply, and I never hear back from him (SHOCKER)... well this continued for 2 months every other day I would get a "hey" or "my name" nothing interesting so I would spontaneously reply every now and then and still... nothing. I'm not an idiot I know when someone is just taunting me so of course it upsets me but I have a boyfriend so I just blow it off. Well about 2 weeks ago I decided to break it off with the new beau because he was just not keeping me interested enough if I still kept becoming affected when my ex would text me. Well a week later I can just feel myself breaking down a lot.. I mean a lot. Like I can't even be driving home by myself or there it goes.. I remember being sad at the beg. but this is on another level.. Idk if it's cause I was using the new beau as a crutch to not have to deal with my emotions (even though I had those breakdowns) or what... I thought I was past this sadness so why am I now resurfacing all those feelings? My ex clearly doesn't give a flying crap about me so idk what to think...
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
there are 3 kinds of breakups:
A break up where both come to a mutual understanding that it isn't working out, will break up but remain friends and
A breakup where you initiate it, which will not be as devastating to you. You may know its for the best because he isn't right for you.These kinds of break up's aren't going to be as hard on the girl so I am guessing that the last scenerio is yours:
When the guy wants to break up and the girl doesn't want to see it end, then she will be devastated. All the memories and feelings, your subconscious mind will keep re-playing over and over again, making it hard to move on.
No one person's grieving process is the same as another's. There are several steps to the grieving process and some person get stuck on one of the steps not progressing through for a while, and some near make it to the end of the grieving process which is needed for total emotional healing to occur. Those who remain stuck whether for a while or forever, are going to experience a lot of negative feelings.
Your situation isn't helped by recieving texts from your first ex's cell phone. With a phone call, we have a voice to verify that it is truly the owner of the cell phone making contact. When it is just a text, especially a constant Hey or name and nothing else, that doesn't sound like the action of a guy, the emotional mind games, poking at your wounds playing this kind of game. It sounds more like something a female would do. I can't say this is what is happening. If he is capable of this treatment, then it is good he's no longer with you cus this behavior would have come out sooner or later and the relationship would have been unhealthy one or broke up.
I am guessing that since he started dating another immediately after, this new girl perhaps worried that he might still think of you and like you more. Insecurity and lack of self confidence could cause a girl to feel this way. It wouldn't have been hard for her to get a hold of his cell whenever with him. But she wouldn't have enough time to send long messages to bug you...so therefore just the Hey or your name....hoping that you would call only to have him of course wondering why you keep calling him. If doesnt mean he wants to be with you again. If someone wants to piss you off enough to never want to get back together in case he changes his mind and wants you again, it could easily be this girl.
But imagining this all won't help. If you really want to know why you keep getting one word texts, then call him, dont text. Hear his voice and know its for sure him and hear the explanation. If he has no clue, you could ask if his girlfriend has access to his cell and ask her to stop bugging you.
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