|
In love with my friends boyfriend
20/f
A few years ago I had a fling with a guy from school but it was just a fling and never came to anything special. Last year he got with an old friend of mine and they have been together ever since. Me an him are friends an bump into each other occasionally and we have chemistry with each other but recently we ended up getting rather close and things happened but now all my old feelings have come back and I do still love him but he's with her and now I'm stuck for what to do.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
It's always tough to feel something more strongly than the object of your affection feels for you, but love isn't the right word, lust is. "All your 'old feelings' were just from a fling, they're not like he was a long-time relationship or an ex-husband. Your old feelings were simple attraction, those are not feelings worth hurting a friendship over.
Besides which, he's with her, and I'm sure he remembers your fling and could have made more of an effort to keep it going or could have made some move to break things off with your friend, so he's probably not reciprocating strongly. You're attracted to him, but you don't have any of the components of lasting trust and deep friendship that comprise love. Don't attempt to grow closer to him, either. If he were to act while he's dating her, it should lower his credibility in your eyes because if he feels it's ok to cheat on her, there's a good chance he'd feel the same way in a relationship with you. Besides which, friendships are more valuable than chemistry.
Chemistry is much, much more common than you think. Ask him or your friend to introduce you to nice guys. You'd be surprised how quickly you can feel those same flutters for someone else. Someone available.
]
Get some self-respect. Hooking up with guys who have girlfriends is not okay. Find someone who isn't attached.
You are being selfish and childish. You are basically saying "I know this will hurt someone else, but it's what I want. I can't control what I want!" Except for yes you can, because you are an adult. You can wait, and you can refrain from taking what isn't yours.
Toodles,
Miss Piggy
]
More Questions: |