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that cafe dude
You replied to me this morning about the two questions and the online dating and what not. Well this evening I went to the cafe and that guy started really trying to talk to asking me whats new and stopping to say something every time he walked by then he finally said he would you ever want to go grab some coffee or something and I said ya sure. So he asked my number and he wrote it down and he said he would text me sometime cause he likes my style. Im not sure what that means exactly but I smiled and said ok.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
There are a certain amount of things you can learn from observing a person interacting with others they are with. Try it sometime at the Mall. Just watch how people talk to each other. You can probably tell which person tends to not let others talk, interrupts a lot, talks in too loud or responds with disrepectful phrases toward their companions, or some one laughs a lot, seems to have good sense of humor, seems to be happy to be alive, someone looks like they are in pain or bitter or angry, holding their face that way.
He has been watching you lots. So he has picked up some things about your like parts of your personality and know he likes what he sees, likes your style is a way of saying that.
When a person is expecting someone to call such in two people just on the verge of getting together, it seems customary to wait about a week for the person to call and then make the next contact or approach just in case they misplaced your number or truly were busy. Its what happened after the 2nd attempt, if the person calls and the other is always busy or just doesn't answer that they know they're getting the brush off and that the other is not as genuinely interested in them as they may have thought. People seem to do that all the time. I have been more direct. Hated playing the waiting game or making others have to wait. If I liked the guy and he said to me, "Thanks for the number, I will text you sometime cus I like your style." I would immediately say something meant to either encourage him or compliment him and show I have a certain level of interest too. "Why thank your for noticing. To be honest, I couldn't help but notice you too every time I've been here. So you better text me." Said by shaking a finger at him like a warning with a flirty smile on my face and waiting a bit before adding, "Because I'll be really disappointed if you don't.
You of course can learn to do the same. It will come in time with experience and as you gain confidence in yourself as a female and knowing the impact and impression you can make on men. Attitude of confidence is going to be one of your biggest assets that brings you great results in the dating arena. You wont have to wonder or worry about other females
enticing your guy away because if he's the right guy, he'll be so into you that no other woman could turn his head or interest him.
So next time you have a chance to talk, be brave...take a deep breath dear and say something to him besides just Oh or Okay. A guy is really no different than a female when it comes to needing to hear compliments, be encouraged to proceed further, see some signs that there is mutual interest on your part. You will need to be saying certain things to give him hope to pursue. Some guys may pursue, totally oblivious to whether you really like him or have had enough and want to break up. But most guys are pretty observant as your cafe guy has already shown to be so he will be looking for some encouraging signs from you.
If all else fails and you feel too timid to say anything or your mind goes blank or you are afraid you might say the wrong thing or say something stupid....guess what!!! The answer is easier than you think, tell him a little of the truth cus the moment you do, all the fears in you will just disappear. I have used this tactic quite often. Example: Giggle and say..."Gee, I seem to not be able to think of a thing to say right now. My mind is totally empty. All I can do is just look at you. Did you put some kind of spell on me? " (thats some of the truth along with some humor...always a good move)
Or, "I know this may sound kinda silly, but I am feeling a bit concerned about what to say. Maybe it's because I have very little experience talking to guys, if you can believe that. But I am glad I'm here with you cus I have a feeling you'll be the most understanding and encouraging and willing to let me practice on you if I bat my eyes nicely for you, right?" Then exaggerate batting your eyes as you smile at him. ( in this one, you've not only revealed how you are feeling, you have complimented him already and asked for his help. Men love to be able to laugh with a girl and they all really have a desire to feel needed and helpful so if you give him something that sounds like he can help you with, even though its not a real help like a project, you will be making lots of 'brownie points' with him. So remember, instead of saying little, ease the tension by using some carefully worded honesty with a little humor and soon you'll be doing great. Good luck dear.
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