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My ex and Is families dont like us and we have a baby on the way
I met my boyfriend in June of last year. We were together 6 months before we found out Im pregnant. Anyway, to make a long story short, my ex had a drinking and pill problem. He was prescribed to klonipins and pain killers but quit the pain killers. He is on klonipins for his PTSD due to his 2 deployments. Hes a veteran and I guess the miliitary thought hed lost his mind so they kicked him out sevral years ago. He seemed normal to me and looked happy so I wasnt going to judge him by his past. I gave him benefit of the doubt. Anyway, he moved in with me and my parents cause it was easier for us to spend time together. After breaking the rule of "no drinking in the house" and getting pulled over due to his wreckless driving cause of his drinkinf, he got kicked out of the house. Me, my son, and him went to a motel to wait out a bad storm before we went anywhere. Well he drank that night and went to steal food from a restaurant and he got arrested. Me and my son had to go back to my parents. He was in jail up until last week. I had only been pregnant for 4 weeks when he got arrested. By 10 weeks id decided to put the baby up for adoption cause we have no means of taking care of it. I told his mom my plan and she agreed with it. But when my ex got out of jail, she suddenly doesnt like me and told her son not to talk to me because i wanted to put the baby up for adoption. He didnt agree with adoption and now he tells me he has full rights to the child and his mom is taking gaurdianship of it til my ex gets back on his feet. And i decided adoption for the best life possible. Not because i didnt want it. Since ny ex lives an hour and a half away, he wants me to move up there so i can be involved in the babys life. I told him i would lose my son to my parents or his father if i was around him. He doesnt seem to understand that and keeps pushing the issue. My parents think he is psycho and his parents hate me for considering adoption. I want to atleast see the baby but im afraid if i do, i will get my other child taken away. And my ex said if i dont want to be in the babys life, he will find it a mom who will help take care of it since he needs a mother. He quit drinking and smoking and is finally getting his life together and hes happy. As for me, tjis pregnancy feels like a nightmare. Im afraid i will never see my baby and that it wont know me. He said the baby will have a good life so i should "calm down". Im stuck and cant quit crying. Please help!!!????
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
1. Carefully document all the trouble he's been in with the law, as well as his parent's issues.
2. PLEASE consult social services armed with all this information. They can protect you and your baby.
Your ex is a clear danger to yourself and others and he is threatening you. No matter how well he's doing now, a history of drug and alcohol abuse will mean any custody case he has is weak. He'll be unlikely to be able to gain custody.
The larger threat is from his parents; if they are in a good position to take care of the baby and they want custody, they may be able to get it. This is where a lawyer would be helpful to you if you want to proceed with adoption to unrelated parties.
If you can afford it, get a lawyer, but if not social services will definitely be helpful. Please explain your concerns to your doctor and they'll be able to connect you with someone or contact social services directly. Whatever you do, do NOT move closer to your ex! Your ex is threatening you and that is not right.
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He wants you to give up the baby to him? All he did is supply the sperm to create a baby. That doesn't make him 'Daddy material'. My first thoughts are, considering the history he has, and the fact that he is pressuring you to give him the baby...he probably already knows that the only way he'll get the child is if he pesters you and bullies you into accepting what he says is the only way it will go down. He knows if you found a lawyer who will take your case Pro Bono, that he mostly likely has zero chance of getting the child. The two of you aren't even married, it's a bit more complicated then.
Just don't listen to his demands. Get legal advice.
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