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Weirded out part 2
Now that i gave you more info and feedback i really want to know what you think i should do! Talking to him is out of the question! And talking to her is too me and her are enemies because she chose it that way she tries to make me look so bad with his family and saying that its my fault my bf puts me first before his family because i manipulate but i think she is just mad because her ex bf never did for her he would always blow her off and she would have to beg him to have sex with her. I know me and him are very serious and we want to start a more official relationship,we have talked about marriage now what am i going to do if that situation continues? Im going to HAVE to keep dealing with her crap cause i love him very much and i might just say yes to spending the rest of my days with him
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So your official question is " what am i going to do if that situation continues?" Hmm, well you
have given reasons why you can't talk to her or to the boyfriend. That leaves the parents. I doubt you'll mention anything to them about her getting CBT cognitive behavior therapy. Besides, she's an adult and can decide she wont go for it even if someone were to mention it to her.
From the way you are talking, my guess is, that you will marry him and decide to just put up with it or as you put it 'deal with her crap'. Your original reason to write in was to find a way to get her to stop interfering in your relationship. Right now, there's nothing you can do. Once married, if the two of you choose to move far enough away that she can't travel to, then all he has to do is deal with her on the phone, that part will continue until she gets help. Sounds to me like a group of people set in their ways. Her with the CB problems, boyfriend not willing to learn to have some backbone and insist on guidelines, rules, parameters, and yourself my.You haven't lived long enough yet to have come across many other "really difficult' people to learn how to deal with them as peaceably as possible....this happens often in a job for example. Just as you can't avoid a coworker who is out to get you, you can't avoid a sister in law who's out to attack you. Right now you may feel you're the only one getting the brunt of her cognitive problems. But having cognitive behavioral problems is not selective. It doesnt mean she will pick on and focus on only one area or one person in her life. This will affect many other areas and I am willing to bet her ex boyfriends have been on the receiving end of her problematic behavior too and why they make themselves scarce, even if its just for sex. Until she gets help, you can count on her being like this for the rest of her life. She has no idea that she is the cause of all her problems, that she is causing it by how she thinks out things. So this problem is not going to go away hon. Perhaps if the entire family, parents boyfriend and you were to talk to her as a whole and attempt to convince her to go for therapy, things could get better. What do the parents think? Are they aware of her interferance and choosing to do nothing? It may be helpful for them to be aware. They may be able to say something to get things moving in a more positive direction. Its a tough situation, no chance of improvement if no one is willing to say anything to her. It may not help but then again, you, boyfriend and the parents wont know until you all try.
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