So there's this guy named Brandon whom I go to school with (we're 14 by the way). I think he likes me. We always hold hands, and hug and sit together at lunch but I don't know if he likes me. I don't want to ask him out, have him day no, and then ruin out friendship, or date, break up, and then still ruin our friendship. I think when we hold hands it might just be for the physical comfort because we are really good friends, like when you would hold hands with your parents when you were little. So do you think I should risk asking him out or what?
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? Dragonflymagic answered Thursday March 27 2014, 12:43 am: You're both 14 so you're both going through puberty. This is a time when both are very aware of the changes in their body and become aware of their sexual orientation, such as attracted to the same sex, the opposite sex, etc...
If the two of you have been friends for years and this is typical behavior between you as friends, then using just the hand holding and hugs as an indicator of his being attracted to you might not be enough.
If he is a fairly new friend and out of everyone else, he chooses to find times to be near you like at lunch and hold your hand and hug alot...finding natural excuses to touch you, then this is something a guy will do when attracted to the girl. My guess is he's not attracted to you only as a friend but also romantic attraction as well.
So are you wanting to ask him as your friend to go out or are you wanting to ask him to start dating as a boyfriend? Either way, you have to ask, since you can't read his mind and he can't read yours either.
You can't sit around and guess or worry about the what if's. If you get too worked up and worried to ask, someone else may come along who asks him and he starts dating her. You don't want to go on your whole life thinking about all the relationships that never came to be, all the what if's because neither of you made the first move. Guys get as scared as girls do about rejection so they don't ask. Rejection is more likely if you want up and ask someone who doesnt know you well or isn't attracted to you. If the attraction is there, there's very little chance of rejection. So ask him. I'm sure he'll be glad you did. [ Dragonflymagic's advice column | Ask Dragonflymagic A Question ]
neo1erk answered Thursday March 27 2014, 12:25 am: Two things, girls mature faster than boys and when talking to boys you need to be blunt. Guys don't do that well with subtex.
I am sure that he likes you and thats why he does these things with you. I would talk to him and maybe tell him that you wanna talk about your relationship but no matter what the outcome, you want to continue being friends. This way he won't worry so much about saying the wrong thing and ruin the friendship. Then just tell him you like him and wanna go out with him. When I was his age I was in similar situations with girls but got nervous about defining the relationship cause I didnt know what it meant to be someones boyfriend.
I dunno maybe tell him what you want from him(I want things to stay like the are but just to know that you feel the same way towards me as I do towards you.)
If he only hold hands with you and does these things with you, I think its safe to assume that you are special to him.
I dunno, maybe not even ask him out but just ask if he likes you. Defining things can be scary when its ur first relationship. I would think knowing that he likes you is more important than a label.
Its been awhile since I was 14 and I was and am currently not the best with relationships. I just wanted to make sure you got at least one response. If you got any follow up questions let me know, and let me know how you make out. I am really hoping I am giving good advice here, but dont go on my opinion alone. Breakups can be rough but it doesnt mean you cant leave on good terms. I know a ton of people who are still friends with there exes. Yea its not the same as before but sometimes you end up better friends sometimes not so much. I am pretty tired and rambling. Best of luck. [ neo1erk's advice column | Ask neo1erk A Question ]
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