Free AdviceGet Free Advice
Home | Get advice | Give advice | Topics | Columnists | - !START HERE! -
Make Suggestions | Sitemap

Get Advice


Search Questions

Ask A Question

Browse Advice Columnists

Search Advice Columnists

Chat Room

Give Advice

View Questions
Search Questions
Advice Topics

Login

Username:
Password:
Remember me
Register for free!
Lost Password?

Want to give Advice?

Sign Up Now
(It's FREE!)

Miscellaneous

Shirts and Stuff
Page Backgrounds
Make Suggestions
Site News
Link To Us
About Us
Terms of Service
Help/FAQ
Sitemap
Contact Us


Do I love him?


Question Posted Saturday March 15 2014, 10:35 am

Boyfriend 20m
Me 18f
Little siblings are 8 and 9

I'm gonna say that I need advice on understanding if I'm in love because there's a side of me that always says yes and other says no. My boyfriend loves me completely he is willing to do anything to make me happy, but I have doubts that go through my head because whenever I see his flaws I end up getting really annoyed by him and when we hang out all he wants is to kiss me I like it but there's times where I don't, it just gets old and so do his jokes:/ I know that only I can fix my emotions and figure them out but I have this feeling of braking up with him whenever I don't like something maybe I'm selfish or something I don't really mean to though. in the beginning I really loved him and we even agreed to just be friends for 2 weeks but I end up giving in with his nice honest words he says that he thinks I'm gorgeous and he can't keep it in and wants to be more so bad. I love it when he's like that but when I go back with him I'm scared of having these doubts about it again. Maybe I might need space from him but when I do get it I really miss him because he's like my best friend pretty much no one would ever hang with me so many times like he did. But when we are friends it gets really hard to fake it. I don't know what to feel.. Does it have to do with the my mind says no and my heart says yes or the other way around... I've been with him for almost 2 years. I do have much going on at home my mother is a single mother with a boyfriend that's nice but she struggles a lot with my little siblings. But that's not part of it I'm just saying I got stuff going on and i don't know if it has to do with my emotions with my boyfriend... Me and my boyfriend meet in high school and we talked on the phone for a long time before hanging out we would talk about how bad his depression was and I would always be there to help because I knew how it felt too. He was my first kiss and I was his by then we always hanged out we did kind of went fast in the relationship because I was never honest with me or with him because I didn't know if I wanted to be with him I mean I had a huge crush on him but I wasn't sure of dating him but when he told me he liked me and wanted to date I said yes even though I wasn't sure. In the beginning it was perfect but then I hated how he would be forgetful yes I know guys are like that but it wasn't that hard to forget something about us hanging out you know but whatever I will never forget how bad I held in when he didn't arrive for our 1 year anniversary because some girl was asking to meet up because she had problems and stuff well that's it guys I just need advice thanks...


[ Answer this question ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?


twist answered Monday March 31 2014, 4:53 pm:
It sounds to me like you are very comfortable around your boyfriend and don't want to lose that connection you have. You will never have a perfect relationship as all people have flaws, both men and women. No one can say whether you love him but you.
After reading your story, it sounds like he pays a lot of attention to you, compliments you and says he loves you all the time. You mentioned depression. Does he try to keep you in the relationship by saying he'll hurt himself if you break up or anything like that?
You mentioned that he didn't arrive for your anniversary because a friend was having problems and he chose to help her instead. Although that must have hurt you, it is nice that you have a man in your life who cares about his friends and is there for them in their time of need.
I'm thinking that maybe you want to keep the friendship but not the love relationship. I would suggest that you sit down and discuss your feelings with him. I know it's hard to do but really, you both deserve to be happy. If you're not happy and you're staying with him "just because" then you're keeping him and yourself from finding someone who is right for each of you. If however, you do love him and are just going through a rough spot right now, it would be terrible if you broke up with him and then realized this when it is too late.
Communication is the most important thing in a relationship. Be honest with him. Tell him how you're feeling and maybe you guys can sort things out.
Hope this helps. Good luck.

[ twist's advice column | Ask twist A Question
]




storageanddisposal answered Saturday March 15 2014, 5:33 pm:
I wouldn't consider this love. But does that mean you should break up with your boyfriend? It's hard to say.

As far as his faults go, keep in mind that no one is perfect. Even people in seemingly perfect relationships have doubts on occasion. You aren't going to find a relationship without issues. At the beginning of most relationships, both people are too self conscious to be their true selves. Because of this, you don't really see their faults until later on. And considering how strong initial infatuation can be, it's easy to think that your significant other is perfect at the beginning of a relationship. They aren't. People are too different for a perfect relationship to be realistic, so I wouldn't use small annoyances as a reason to break up with someone.

At the same time, if you are generally unhappy with someone, it's best to end the relationship. People often change and grow less compatible as a result.

Also keep in mind that missing someone when you break up doesn't necessarily mean that you should stay together. People often miss someone that's wrong for them just because of how accustomed they were to the relationship. Even a good change can be painful.

How does he make you feel in a general sense? When he first pops into your head, is it a nice feeling? It sounds to me like your relationship has run its course and you'd find more fulfillment elsewhere, but it goes without saying that only you know for sure.

[ storageanddisposal's advice column | Ask storageanddisposal A Question
]

More Questions:

<<< Previous Question: Wedding cost breakdown
Next Question >>> I forgot my book club book at school and its the weekend!

Recent popular questions:
Want to give advice?

Click here to start your own advice column!

What happened here with my gamer friends?

All content on this page posted by members of advicenators.com is the responsibility those individual members. Other content © 2003-2014 advicenators.com. We do not promise accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any advice and are not responsible for content.

Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content.
Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.

[Valid RSS] eXTReMe Tracker