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long distance relationship.
Here’s the thing …
I’m in a distance relationship for almost three months , he’s amazing and just what I wanted and waited for along time, we have so much in common and I’ve never met anyone like him before, I never saw him but I’m so excited that I will ,and the good news is that in August I’m moving to his country ..my previous relations was nothing but a disappointments ,,that’s why i have commitment and trust issues ,but he’s damaged as I am ,it’s not his fault nor mine ,we both fucked up emotionally ,maybe that’s why it’s working this time ,and our fights are usually on this matter ,for example he’s still wearing this band that his ex gave it to him ,and he keep saying it’s just a reminder to him to not be that fool again ,it really pisses me off ..and then he lied about it and told me that he took it off when I saw it on Facebook that he actually didn’t ,I told him and he said it wasn’t a big deal and I’m overreacting ,and making a big deal out of it ,I said I don’t want to talk to him anymore and to leave me alone, he said hope you find someone that treats you better than me ..but I didn’t want that it was something I said without thinking…for a week we didn’t talk ,then he wrote tellin me that he doesn’t want to lose me and this distance is destroying us ,being so close to each other and far away is destroying what we have ,so his solution was that we should keep It simple till I’m with him ,that he doesn’t want to risk what we have ,and he’s doing this just to have me in the end coz if we keep doing this we’re gonna lose each other and I should understand him.
It was just some stupid fight I don’t want this “let’s keep it simple” situation ,I want things to go back the way they were ,or does he have a point? I mean do you think maybe 1 % what he’s saying is making any sense ? should I agree? But I want him and I’m afraid that these five months will change things and then I’ll be losing him forever ..plzz just tell me what to do..
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It seems like he cares about you. If you truly want things to go back to what they used to, that's fine but you both will have to work on it. Long distance is ten times more hard because you're not there in person and you only know what he tells you.
I think you're over reacting a little about the shirt. I still wear the boots and other clothes my ex bought for me and he still wears a jacket and shoes I got him. It wasn't something sentimental, just a gift. If it was jewelry or something, then I could understand but I don't think a band shirt is a big deal. That's just my own opinion and if you don't want him to wear it for whatever reason, then that's your choice and if he chooses not to wear it, then cool. If not, then you can't make him and you need to accept that. If you're not comfortable dating someone who still keeps some of the things their ex got for them, then don't date him and do your best to move on and find someone you're more compatible with.
If you don't want to "keep it simple" then tell him. Tell him you'll work on your trust issues and you don't want to lose him either.
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I think that certain things annoy people, and others may not be able to understand their situation. Maybe he doesn't see the big deal in wearing his ex's gift, but you do. If you try to let it go, then maybe things can go back.
Instead of talking about it, try simply dropping the subjec and forcing things to go back to normal yourself. If you want things to go back to normal badly enough, they will. Just try to relax and don't overthink things. Look forward to seeing each other in person. It'll be good for you both. Stay optimistic and don't stress if you have a small argument over something. You can pull through! :)
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