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My bf never lets me get him anything but he buys be everything.
Whenever I want to pay for him or get him something he says no or pulls out his money before I can. He buys me gifts, chocolates, flowers and stuff and always wants to pay everything for me. A Couple of times we even had arguments that he should let me pay sometimes but he tells me that he loves me so much and I mean a lot to him and its his responsibility to take care of me. I felt so sweet about it but I feel bad at times that I am wasting his money.
Once when we went out I picked up a shirt for him and before I could take my purse out he got the billing done with his card. The other day we went out with a couples dine out and in the end they all shared the bill but my bf payed for both of us, I felt so embarrassed at that time. I feel like I should pay for something when we go out, but he always wants to pay. We both are students and both of us have part time jobs.
I'm not sure if I am doing the right thing by telling him no when he asks or should I just graciously accept when he offers. I don't want to continue saying no if it is making him feel less manly?
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There's women with issues lots worse than yours, consider yourself lucky that this is the worst of it.
Reality is. . . men get paid more than women in almost every job. Thats just the way it is, so it is much more practical for a guy to cover most if not all costs incurred, as long as he can truly afford to pay for everything.
He may have been raised this way, that if there is a female who is very special to you, you take care of her in all ways and never let her pay her way. To protest this would be to question the way his parents raised him.
With most married couples, the finances are no longer mine and yours but ours and it doesn't matter whose income contributes more, they decide together on what major purchases are made, decide together on a budget and pay out of combined funds. There is no reason why an unmarried young man in love can't do this for his girl. Maybe he's practicing for later when he's married.
And now this brings me to the fact he said he loves you. All people have a dominant way of showing another person how much they love them. There are 5 major love languages. I will post a link here. It might be something you want him to look at. If you decide that the "Giving of Gifts" is your main way of showing love, let he know. If so, this is one instance in which I would highly suggest to him that he allow you to surprise him with an occasional gift you purchase him to surprise him, or for birthday, valentines day or something to add to a collection he had, lets say he collects baseball hats, or books on wars in history. Its not what you spend on him that counts as gift giving as a love language, it's the thought behind it and it would no longer be a gift if he insists on reimbursing you the cost of the gift. That is a no-no in this case. You may want to pick up the book and read it in any spare time or to each other. This is helpful information to know for this relationship or if it so happens, for any future ones.
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