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In love with 2: Cheating on my fiance of 3 years
20/female:
So I had an affair last summer on my fiancé of 3 years..
I fell in love with this man... We stopped speaking but I can't bare living without him... I love him but I also love my fiancé, I wish I could have both and live happily ever after, like beautiful savages... She's got it all...
I need sneaky ideas to keep my rekindled affair from my fiancé...
Help?!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I believe most people would see it as unethical to help give you ideas how to sneak around. Please don't take that wrong because I believe I can explain with a different view of your situation.
I am not against having two people in your life with whom you are in love with both. That actually does happen. Its called polyamory but all 3 people must be open and honest with each other and give the other the option to decide if its something they are willing to try or the ability to back out if they know they can't share. When all 3 are not hiding any other partners from the other, then it is truly a good loving expression of extended love, not cheating, lying and hiding which are all negative in aspect and will kill relationships.
The sentence that got me thinking along these lines is your wish: " I wish I could have both and live happily ever after, like beautiful savages..."
I don't doubt that you love both, I know people who are successfully achieving this non monogamous variety of relationship. Some people are not born being monogamous in nature. I am not talking about the people who use that statement as an excuse for cheating, cus in that case it is a chosen way to live not something you are born with. Some scientific facts point to monogamy actually not being the norm but humans forced theirselves to adapt to it because of issues of emotional maturity lacking...jealousy etc...
In the end you say 'she's got it all' if that was not a typo and the other party is female, then you are bi-sexual. That is not something to hide from a male fiancee. Most men don't have a problem with discovering their girlfriend or wife is bi-sexual. In alot of cases, the wife discovered this long after being married. But he needs to be advised of that now if this is the case so he can get his mind around it.
If you have 2 men you are in love with and you don't want to give up either one, sneaking around and being found out is enough reason to lose the fiancee/husband on the grounds of dishonesty alone. What if he might have been okay with the idea of you having another love as long as that man treats you equally well? Or it may take him a while to get to that state of mind.
If on the slight chance your fiancee could handle the information, then you get to keep both.
If not, then you lose him sooner than otherwise by being honest. But by being dishonest, thats almost a certainty of losing him.
If you have more questions about polyamory or bi-sexuals who husband supports that in them, let me know. I have knowledge through friendship with or association with people in those groups.
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