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If he loves her, why does he come to me for sex?
Hi. You had answered my above question, unfortunately the end cut off and I don't know how to finish reading it or if you were only allowed so many characters.
Thank you for your answer.
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I have no idea what happened, maybe a glitch in the system.
Starting with the last paragraph:
I met one guy who said he was single cus in my script I said I understood polyamory but he must be single. At our second date, he realized that I was the confident type and felt guilty cus he had lied to me so he figured to remedy things immediately by being honest and gaining my respect that way. He told me he lied, that he was married and that he was sorry. But he felt I would not have met him if I knew. He's darn tooting right! He said it was a sex less marriage, to which I said, if you are mismatched sexually, why not leave, divorce and find your perfect partner? He says because he loves her. Okay, then if you love her, tell her and let her know that having no sex is not an option for you, that you love her and her position with you as wife and mother of your children remains the same, you're not getting rid of her, just want a sex partner. Being open and honest is what is key here. He said he could not say
I met one guy who said he was single cus in my script I said I understood polyamory but he must be single. At our second date, he realized that I was the confident type and felt guilty cus he had lied to me so he figured to remedy things immediately by being honest and gaining my respect that way. He told me he lied, that he was married and that he was sorry. But he felt I would not have met him if I knew. He's darn tooting right! He said it was a sex less marriage, to which I said, if you are mismatched sexually, why not leave, divorce and find your perfect partner? He says because he loves her. Okay, then if you love her, tell her and let her know that having no sex is not an option for you, that you love her, and her life with you is not threatened. Nothing changes for her accept that she gave permission for you to have a sex partner since she wants zero sex. It is a reasonable loving thing a mate can do if they absolutely can't due to illness or accident or just choice have sex. I said I would meet her and talk with her for him. I was not going to trust a man who lied about his marriage status that he got permission from the wife, cus he could lie about that too. I had to hear it from her. He still was too chicken to talk to her....probably figured she might leave him over it.
In this world, you will rarely find a married couple who can talk about and come to such an agreement today but I know of couple who have...not ones I read about somewhere but people I really know. It's not something most people talk about but people feel comfortable talking to me about sex related stuff.
>>Since your guy isn't planning on leaving her, he is not willing to be truthful with himself as to what he really wants and go for it. He is trying to achieve something that is not possible, like saying I can remain in the middle and be halfway pregnant. There is either pregnant or not pregnant, no half way. So there is no way it will turn out good for yom to continue, due to the cheating, lieing, behind her back thing without permission its like a festering infection that will erupt at some point.
The best thing you can do is work on gaining confidence and a higher self image. Pick up self help books on it. I have watched many male dating coaches on you tube who speak to women on how to attract a guy, what to do or not do and what men find attractive and sexy. I have listened to many and every single one so far has said, A woman can be just average looking or less than that, and yet have confidence and she will attract the attention of a man over the model type without any confidence. Confidence and a good self image is beautiful and sexier and will win every time over the gal who only has her looks to lure a guy. But what about the guys going after these women? they are insecure puppies, not looking for a commitment to a long term love relationship, but are motivated by sex. Men with a low self image will believe they cannot get the pretty girl just for sex and will go after the average looking low self confident woman because they believe it's all they can get as in the case with the married man who lied to me. So do yourself a favor and begin working on yourself, your age doesn't matter. I am 55 and happily married a 2nd time. And men still hit up on me. I have some wrinkles, silver in my
brunette hair and I don't look like airbrushed models do, yet guys still hit up on me all the time, in even comes across in my facebook photo somehow...the confidence. I get mens asking to date me when my facebook clearly says I am married. So yes, I can testify that all you need is confidence and you will be able to find a man to love you, who will never be attracted to a prettier women for sex or relationship.
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