Question Posted Saturday February 15 2014, 10:52 pm
okay so me and my bf plan on haveing sex for the fist time... and were both virgins... hes had a blow job and hand job before but he wants me to give him a blowjob and i dont know what to do.... and i have no clue how to give a blow job... will someone please help me with this im scared!!!
If for some reason you still decide to go through with this, everything he wants is simple as long as you really are ready. You just have to tell him and let him know you don't know what to do. I'm sure he'll gladly let you know.
If he has a problem with you being inexperienced or something, then dump him. I don't see why he would though.
FionaGuru246 answered Sunday February 16 2014, 11:19 am: Your virginity is a really important thing! In my opinion, if this guy isn't going to be ok with the fact that you are inexperienced sexually then he is a waste of time. If you don't know what to do, tell him! I'm sure he will understand. If you love each other and want to please him, i understand your worries. However, being nervous in your actions will show up if you decide to go through with it and it is so much better to be honest with him! Remember that if he thinks you are weird for not knowing what to do, he isn't worth it. Your virginity is what you have that is special and you don't want to lose it to a guy that doesn't respect how you fell. I know how this feels, I used to sleep around and trust me, all it does to you is fill you with self hate! You are worth your weight in gold and a guy that doesn't respect your feeling isn't worth YOUR gold! I hope it pans out for you x
P.S - it is a different experience, but relax and enjoy it! If you are honest with each other it will feel right and it will be an experience you will cherish! If you do tell him how nervous you are feeling and he takes it the wrong way, don't do it. You will only feel bad afterwards. Just remember there are so many other guys out there that would walk over hot coals for you! xx [ FionaGuru246's advice column | Ask FionaGuru246 A Question ]
Dragonflymagic answered Sunday February 16 2014, 3:11 am: Depending on the reason you are scared, you may or may not be ready to have sex for the first time, so if you just feel nervous cus you have not done it before, everyone does it for a couple months of really not knowing what they are doing. He won't know how to pleasure you either. A blow job is oral sex. Basic description is that you work his penis with your mouth or combination of your hand and mouth until he comes to a climax, which means he ejaculates into your mouth. Then you either swallow it or spit it out. It isn't harmful to swallow. I will say that if the two of you have never had clothes off before and you are not familiar with his normal male musky scent, you may or may not be able to handle it. I remember one guy whose pheremones must have been way different than mine cus I aborted the blow job and couldnt go through with it.
If your pheremones are a close match, he will smell interesting and different but pleasant, if not, the scent of the guy as your face gets near his crotch, can be enough to make you gag even if he's recently showered. So you need to be able to have an out if you find you can't handle it. Then there's the issue of if you have a sensitive gag reflex or not, and the size of his penis, and whether he gets carried away and trys to ram himself in deeper than you can handle and your stomach has taken a lurch or two as you gag. You may want to have some control where he can't do that as easy such as him laying on his back and you kneel and work on him, with your hand around the base to push against any thrusts if he still moves too much. A guy may not intend to do that but the nicest guys have gotten carried away with me before so you need to have a way to signal him to stop, a tap or slap on the thigh might work or whatever. So you see, there's much that needs to be discussed, and this is just the guy, we haven't even begun to consider what goes into him giving oral sex. It can be very pleasurable.And you can be brought to orgasm also if the pressure of the tongue and strokes are just right. I have days where one action works perfect and the next time, hubby says its not working on me. So you have to tap him on the shoulder and tell him when its not working or doing a thing for you. I have also found that different guys tongues have had different responses from me. Something about the texture of it, or how strong the tongue muscle is, but guys can all be doing the exact same thing and it only works better with one particular guy. If you want any links on the physiology of male and female orgasms as taught to college students, in a short informative video, let me know...you will need to self educate at some point not only on what you are capable of doing sexually but understanding how the males body works too. For example, did u know guys have a g-spot too?
him away
, then you need to ask your bf how he would like you to do it. Every guys is a little different in what works for him or feels good or is too much stimulation. You have to learn over again with each new partner. So communicating back and forth is important. Just say, show me or tell me what you'd like me to do for you. And as you are working on him, stop and ask if he would like you to change pace, faster-slower, softer-harder.
Is this a plan to just have him be pleasured or do you come into the picture? If he is going to reciprocate, with oral sex or fingering you, I hope you have worked with your clit and g-spot so you can tell him what to do. If neither you nor he know anything about how a guy can give a female orgasms without penis in the vagina sex, then you both may want to do some studying first. Remember, either way, who ever is doing the work on the other, communication is needed. And it needs to be encouraging, not discouraging. An example, "Stop that, what you're doing is too rough!" or I'd enjoy that more if you try that more gently. Yes, like that, only even a bit more gently. Thanks..thats perfect." Its all about two partners wanting to please each other and each of us are unique.
Be sure you can have some agreed upon word ahead of time if you need to stop immediately cus you can't go through with it any further. [ Dragonflymagic's advice column | Ask Dragonflymagic A Question ]
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