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What should I do to keep in my life this time?
There was guy I knew when I was younger we went to school together. He was my first crush but I never told him. We went off to different high schools and I never saw him again. Over years I use to think about him. I would wonder where hes at or what hes been up to. Then one day he sent me a friend request on facebook. I was so excited. Im messaged him and we talked a little bit. I wanted to know what to do this time to not lose contact with him without coming on too strong or being annoying. Any ideas?
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The fact that he did a search for you on facebook shows that at the very least, he has a curiosity as to how you are doing and a person searching doesnt do that if a person were never a good friend or a close friend in the past. I know that I have only done searches for people I haven't seen in years that I would enjoy keeping in touch with.
Facebook is a wonderful way to stay in touch with people. But you can always get his email or phone # also, and just tell him that you want to be sure you both don't lose contact with each other this long ever again.
I don't know if you're still in high school or out of high school, but if your an adult now and still single and wanting to be in a relationship with the hopes of finding that someone to be with long term or life long, then you know you'll kick yourself if you don't give dating him a try this time. Good partnerships are the ones where two people are not only best friends but find passion together too. I don't know how great and close a friendship you had back then or if you were only acquaintences but not really friends back then and you'd be starting one brand new here.
So, what you say would kinda depend on what kind of interaction you had with him in the past. If you hung out lots as friends (its just that you never said anything about developing feelings), you could tell him you really enjoyed your great friendship in the past and you've really missed not being able to keep in touch and hang out with him. Ask him if he'd like to get together for old times sake. Be sure that he is single and available, otherwise just keep in touch via facebook and if his status changes, invite him then. I would wait to confess how I felt back then because it may be irrelevant if you find that in hanging out with him now that those feelings are gone. I experienced that twice in my life, someone I was crazy about I found my feelings changed years later when we meet again.
If in hanging out as friends you find you still have these feelings now as an adult,
I would say,
" Hey I know we've only been hanging out a short while but I find that the feelings I felt for you back then, Have come back since hanging out with you now and I feel like I am falling for you all over again. I figured I should say something now just in case you feel the same way."
The key here is stating your words as being in the process of becoming interested again or having feelings, not the more blunt "I have strong feelings" or "I have a crush on you," or "I am in love with you". That is more final...a state of being there, leaving no wiggle room for the other in case they haven't quite come to the point of having the same feelings as fast as you and need more time. If they know they won't ever feel that way, it is easier for them to be honest and tell you so now "before you get to the point of being in love".
Don't not do anything but just chat on Facebook, relationships on there are very one dimensional and therefore become more fantasy in your mind than the reality of where you can be in relationship with him. It's best that you get together with him in real life, sooner than later. Start off with an innocent invite to meet up at a coffee shop or go to lunch. If that goes well and you both really enjoy your time together, then invite him to come to your place and you can spend hours telling each other what you' guys experienced in the years apart. Share stories of your highschool life, drag out the yearbook, show photos and tell stories.
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