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New guy in my life. Relationship, casual fling or something else?
I've known this guy for a long time I'm 18 he's 23, we've always been flirty and hang about in the same social circles but he always thought I had a boyfriend (which I didn't) so things never went further than a flirt. Recently he found out that I am infact single and we've been having casual sex and I'm really starting to like him. Our relationship is secret at the moment as we both don't want anyone spoiling it, gossiping or starting rumours so it's on the down low until anything more comes out of the relationship. He's always saying how he thinks I'm perfect and all his ex girlfriends have been crazy and i could be the one to change his bad luck. This isn't him just playing me this guy is genuinely nice, well mannered and pretty charming, he wants me to go out with his 2 best friends and their girlfriends. Would I be getting my hopes up to think that he possibly wants a relationship out of this?
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If a guy had something to hide, he would not have you meet or hang out with his best friends cus they will reveal things about him he may not want you to be aware of. If he feels safe having his buds meet you, thats a good sign.
What you need to learn is to be able to have very clear communication with him. "How you interpret the phrase "wanting a relationship" and how he would interpret it could be very different.
YOu are in a relationship of sorts with him.You yourself said, "Our relationship is secret at the moment" For some guys, this level of commitment is enough, a casual female friend he's sexually attracted to, enjoys the company of but he is not ready yet for anything deeper. Are you willing to spend time together to see if anything more comes of it? How much time are you willing to give a deep friendship and love to bloom between you? How long did it take you to come fast friends and besties with your female friends? I can recall becoming close with female friends usually over a 6 month period of seeing each other very often. It shouldn't take much longer than that for him to come to the same realization, especially since the two of you are not high school kids and a bit older now.
I know you guys have that spark and sexual attraction, so now its waiting to see if you can be best of friends, and be intimate mentally and emotionally, not just sexually
I can't really answer your question and say 'yes he does want a relationship, or no he doesn't'. That's for you to discover. Here's my advice: when you have conversation, and talking about some issue very important to you, choose your words wisely, go into some detail and give examples of what you mean so there can be no question in his mind. If he ever says anything or gives answers that leave you wondering exactly what he meant by it, dont wait to write here and ask us what he meant, ask him at the moment he said it. Good communication is important to a healthy relationship. My daughter lost a boyfriend because she was afraid to communicate with him and ask him questions so she was always wondering and questioning in her mind what he meant and what he was really looking for from her. She was too embarassed to ask in case he might not be somewhat serious about her. Don't let embarassment hold you back from asking as my daughter did. If you take the time to ask or question him, he should take that as a compliment that you truly care enough about him to ask and learn exactly what he thinks and how he feels.
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