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"DISTRACTION" to "INSPIRATION"
Well, it's like this.
"Tommy" is one of my closest friends. At school, we always talk and hang out with the group. He's charming, funny and means the world to me. Now, I kinda developed feelings for him to the point that I want to hug him (and, surprisingly, kiss him), and be with him ALL the time, and it keeps distracting my thoughts. I just can't fall out of love in an instant or just suddenly minimize our ''talking time.'' It is now a nuisance to my thoughts, my actions, my time, my studies, and the list goes on. But the catch is that I neither want to replace nor remove him and my feelings from my thoughts, for it is almost impossible for me in the meantime (haha).
Now, my question is: How do I transform him from a 'distraction' into a 'inspiration'? What should I think? What should I do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Here is what you do:
1) convince yourself that good grades are sexy and then flash your 'A' at him
2) view him as an essay in motion or a mathematical equation in the flesh so that when you write an essay or do math you'll feel close to him
Let ne know if this works xo
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This one statement of yours "the catch is that I neither want to replace nor remove him and my feelings from my thoughts" is what pops out as a possible thing to focus on. I don't know if it is an indicator you are mentally doing this but lots of females fall into the trap of thinking a guy is their entire life when a guy can only make up one part of it.
Any time, you find yourself allowing or willing to allow the guy you're focusing on to take over to the exclusion of everything else, then something is out of balance. People who allow this to happen in their life are in danger of no longer having a life of their own because their life now revolves around someone elses life. No one can ever ever Be your life, and its only the ego part of you that will cause you to seek that person to the exclusion of everyone and everything else that make up your life. We tend to seek that which strokes our ego. Ego is tied to our emotions. So if it feels really good to have these feelings and imagine them being returned, then the ego part of you does not want to let it go as you stated in your sentence.
All relationships start with an attraction. It may feel strong enough to be called 'love' as you say but I have lived long enough now to know the difference. Trust me, what you feel in the beginning for a person compared to what you feel for them later if they are the right one, just cant be compared to what you felt in the beginning.
So you've known Tommy long enough as a friend to say, "I am beginning to develop some feelings for you. Never say "I have feelings for you" which has more pressure behind it, the feelings being 100% there already. If its a process you are telling him you are going through, its not as scary a revelation. the same goes for professing love, Instead of saying "I love you" say "I am starting to fall in love with you." In actuality, it is a truthful statement because love for another is something that will always be going through a process of change, of growing stronger through the experiences of life together.
If he doesn't feel the same romantic feelings about you, then finding out may not help your situation for you might then be going through depression and still not able to concentrate on other parts of your life. But in case he does feel the same, it might help to discover it and begin the next stage of your relationship together, eliminating the constant wondering and dreaming about it.
By his actions and body language, has he shown signs that he is interested in you this way? Since he's been a friend a long time, you could say something. Make sure your statements don't carry a 100% finality of already being there, it puts too much pressure on the other to say the same even if they don't feel it, like saying
"I have feelings for you" or "I love you". It is better to say, "I am beginning to have feelings for you." and "I am starting to fall in love with you." Its not as likely to scare someone away.
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