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Are My Thoughts Normal?
16/F
For as long as I can remember, which would be from about age five until present day, I've always easily developed crushes/romantic attraction towards book or television characters. I didn't think much of it then and from what I heard from friends, I definitely wasn't alone. What I'm wondering now is, as a teenage girl who has never had a boyfriend nor any real romantic contact with anyone, is it normal of me to still entertain thoughts like this or is this perhaps the cause of my lack of contact with others?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
You do seem to have analysed and identified this one yourself perfectly. You're far from alone, it's normal and harmless and it does act as a stand-in for a real romantic connection in many cases. The tv celebrity is inherently 'safe' and of course, 'perfect'. And as your previous reply states, yes many a woman married and reasonably (or even entirely) satisfied with her 'real life' partner can and will often look with a wishful eye at a glamorous and handsome (or in some way attractive to her) celebrity and have little daydream! And yes, keep things real. You want to try and avoid obsessive thoughts and behaviour of course. After all, choosing a random celebrity...it's unlikely you'll ever actually meet them. Not because they're famous and you're not, they are real people too and have the normal friends and romantic associations. But simply because it's a rather large world! You're doing fine, no need to worry about this in the slightest. But don't let it mentally/emotinally stand in the way of real human relationships. Us guys do it too of course. Noticed you said 'THE cause of my lack of contact'? Again, you've reasoned this one out nicely yourself. Try thinking 'BE-cause of my lack of contact', if you're re with me? Think about the relationship between 'cause & effect'. Then you'll stay on the right track I reckon. Best wishes.
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Fantasizing about book or tv/movie characters is quite normal and it does not stop just because someone has a boyfriend or is married.
So enjoy your fantasies. Just keep in mind that a fantasy is just that....a fantasy....where all the missing pieces of information on a person that one would get if in a real face to face relationship are missing.
So your mind will imagine creatively and freely to fill in all the missing pieces, usually on the side of glorifying and creating the perfect person...which doesn't exist in real life. As long as you are able to keep the fantasy guys and reality guys separate and not expect the reality guys to match up to the fantasy ones, you'll be doing okay.
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