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Living seems so painful


Question Posted Sunday December 29 2013, 3:23 am

I have supported my husband through school. I gave him 2 beautiful children and a successful practice (along with his doctor degree). He had affairs with our staff and still blames me for our failed marriage. He's divorcing me and he's taking our kids. I heard his new gf is a lot younger than I am.

I can't afford to take care of my babies and it is because I can't find work for a year now. Since I have supported his career from the beginning for 15 years, my Bachelor in Accounting has become rusty. The feeling of defeat and unemployment is engulfing my hope and self confidence. Up to this point, I feel like a nobody. I feel so worthless as a mother. Every day, I cry because I miss my babies. I want to fight for what's mine but as of now my heart as a mother is broken into thousand pieces. I have tried everything to get myself back up (from meditation, yoga to fitness) and nothing works. Every day I get up, I feel sad, so lonely, scare, and helpless. I have waited and waited. Still, new hope for anything has not come my way. I was googling how "to die easily" and somehow I got to this site. I can't bring myself to go see anyone bc I am so ashamed for what had happened to my life and my marriage. I cannot believe the man I love (yes I still love him) treats me like this. I see now life is so painful to live, even just for 1 more day.


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adviceman49 answered Sunday December 29 2013, 9:32 am:
Okay pity party time is over. He is not worth dying over. I'm not sure where you're from but if you are from the USA you do not have to lay down and be a doormat for him. You have rights as the wife and you should avail yourself of them.

DO NOT SIGN ANY DIVORCE PAPERS HIS LAWYER MAY PRESENT TO YOU.

You put him through school, you supported his practice. These two things gives you the right to half the worth of his practice and any retirement fund, stocks, bonds and any other savings he has accumulated as a direct result of his practice.

In most states the laws will award you this if you have your own lawyer. I suspect your soon to be ex husband has knocked you down and threatened to leave you penniless unless you bow to his wishes. Don't do this.

FIND YOUR OWN LAWYER. Most divorce lawyers know what your husband is doing and will work on a small retainer with payment coming from the settlement they get you. If your husband is as successful as you indicate it will be large.

The first thing your lawyer needs to do is freeze your husbands bank accounts, then get an accounting of his worth and the worth of his practice. He also needs to get you temporary support. If you signed a separation agreement that needs to be negated. There should be no problem negating a separation agreement if you did not have counsel.

Dyeing proves nothing. Live and make him pay. Make him pay for what you did for him to make him a success. If you get a real good lawyer the young gold digger he is seeing will leave him for more golden pastures. This is what you need to do and should do.

You need to benefit and you are by law in most states entitled to benefit from the foundation you provided him to become successful. Doing so is far more satisfying than dyeing.

If you need help finding a divorce lawyer, call your local Bar Association for a referral.

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