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Do I have an eating disorder?
I'm 18/f and I weigh 110lbs and I'm 5'4".
So I know that that's not underweight or dangerous.
The thing is that I lost a lot of weight when I was around 10 and used to be chubby. Since when my relationship with food is horrible. I've been losing and gaining weight every since. I never weigh more than around 113lbs so I don't gain very much. But I think about food the whole day. I think about losing weight all the time. Yet I'm unable to reach my goal. I always fail. I want to weigh around 88lbs and I know that's unhealthy but I just don't think I can ever be happy if I don't lose weight and reach that goal. I always go on pro ana diets and fail. I'm always jealous of anorexic people and I know it's horrible :( And this is just killing me. I hate myself for failing and I hate living because all I can think of is food. My mom doesn't care much because I'm not too skinny.
Do I have an eating disorder? My mom doesn't want me to seek help cause she thinks I don't need it so I'm not. I've asked her so many times if I can talk to someone but she just doesn't care so I just feel silly for actually thinking I have a problem. But I just don't know what to do anymore. Am I really okay and overreacting or do I have a problem?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
In my personal opinion, I don't believe you have an eating disorder right this second, but may be on the verge of one. The thoughts of food and constantly losing weight is the first step in developing an eating disorder. I think you should talk to your mom again about talking with a counselor or therapist so that it doesn't end up going any further. Eating disorders are so deadly and I know that I don't know you, but I care about your well being and your health. I really suggest you talk to someone about this because it can really help. I am actually in counseling right now due to some other things, but I can tell you that it has really helped and i'm much better than I was. So please seek some therapy before you actually start starving yourself.
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While I am not a doctor, none of are. Given what you said and how you said it. In my opinion you do have a problem. Can it be classified as an eating disorder? I'm not sure but the way you stated your problem you do have what I would say an unhealthy outlook about your weight.
A weight of 88 pounds would put you grossly underweight. This would be far worse than being grossly overweight. Our bodies are designed to save the mind at all costs. If you do not eat enough to support your body then the body starts feeding upon itself. This is how we lose weight. When you get below your proper weight and the body cannot support all of the systems that keep you healthy it starts shutting down the systems it feels are not needed to support the brain.
First to shutdown are the kidneys. Then the pancreases, the liver, the lungs, then the heart and finally the brain. This is a tough way to die. I have a friend who's daughter was anorexic and died this way. I don't think she weighed more than 60 pounds when she died.
You are an adult at age 18. You do not need parental permission to see a doctor even if you are under your parents insurance. I suggest you make an appointment to see your family doctor and tell the doctor what you have told us. The doctor will most likely send you to an eating specialist who may be a psychiatrist or psychologist.
Do not let the doctors title put a label on you. Go see the doctor your doctor recommends. Right now you are healthy though with your outlook that could change rapidly.
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