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Reply to your answer to my previous question
It could be hormonal cause iv just had the implant but this has been going on a lot longer than iv had it and I'm not liking the person I'm becoming, I feel like a complete cow to them but it's not my siblings as much it's mainly my mum and I talked to her about it and explained everything and she completely understood and for a few weeks after that it was fine but it's all starting again and it just feels like a cycle of us both getting our backs up to each other, we have all been through a lot in the past couple of months and it's quite serious stuff has happened but I don't want it to affect us cause we used to be really close but since she's been involved in everything that's happened I feel like we just don't like each other anymore, I agree that I am the type of person that needs space but she doesn't understand that but I do get my own space sometimes and stuff but if I'm with other people I never get that feeling I need space it's just her, she just pushes herself into my life too much and can't accept I actually don't like her and don't want her around BUT I do at the same time but within reason, cause I do love her sometimes.
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Okay, you say it is something since before an implant. By implant, I assume you mean the IUD, intra uterine device for birth control. Some IUD's have hormones and some do the same work without. I dont know what they are called in the UK but I here the ads for the Mirena on tv the hormonal one. The copper one I used is called Paragard. You can check with your doctor to see which one you have. If hormonal, you might think of switching to the copper one.
So if you had issues before getting on birth control, it could still be hormonal. Just the changes in your body alone are enough to set off a young female and set her against another female as I think i said before. If it just got worse since using the IUD, then you definitely are not handling the extra hormones well.
I wonder how you and mom got along before puberty.
If moms behavior towards you was not an issue then, I'd say its the hormones only and to lessen the load of hormones flowing through you, change the type of implant you have. If its not a hormonal implant, then it is entirely your natural hormones. The side of effects on your emotions that make you react to select people, mainly mom, will subside over time as you get older. By time you are 18, 19, 20, hormones if they are solely the cause, will subside.
However, I think there are other things contributing now that you've said more. I can understand not liking her but at same time you love her cus she's family. That would be having two very different personalities that grate against each other when contact is too much. When contact is in smaller amounts, you can enjoy each other. For example, I have 3 daughters and love them very much but each one has something in their personality which after a certain point in time, it starts to irritate me. It wasn't the case when they were children but the changes of who they were becoming as young adults. I'd have to say it is part about bad habits, part the person they just are because of their sun/horoscope sign.
The thing to remember is we can't change others but only change ourselves. You already say you don't like the person you're becoming. You probably can't ever get to the point of really enjoying mom if you are two very opposite people, but what you have control over is how you react or respond. It will be very stressful at times having to interact with her but look at it as great character growth opportunity cus the world out there can be a harsh place and someday you may have to work and interact with co-workers or a boss who sets your nerves on edge.
Or you can choose your other idea to leave and find another place to live. How about making that last choice and giving this challenge a try, to see if you can muster some self control, not talk with sharp, mean words when frustrated, not raising your voice, not responding when egged on to engage in argument, or whatever the situation is. You will be an adult soon enough, so perhaps mom is attempting to be near you so much because she already worries about the time you no longer will live at home. Ask her if she's thought about what it will be like once you're out on your own.
I wonder if you are the oldest of children or the youngest, both are hard on parents when these kids leave home, the first cus its something new and scary even for them, the last because once that one leaves, it's an empty nest.
I did say it would be stressful. If mom is coming at you when you are already overstressed from your day or anticipating a test at school or whatever, you might get mom to agree to give you lets say 10 mins. time before she returns. Just say, Hey mom, can you give me 10 more minutes to myself before you come to talk,...this is when she comes into your private space.
During that 10 minutes, here's what i suggest to prepare yourself to be in a better mental and emotional state, to handle her. You have to release stress and raise the levels of "feel good" hormones in your brain and our bodies are capable of producing them quite easily and quickly. These would be main
If you have music in your room, or computer with favorite songs on it, put on your head set and listen to a couple. Not just any music. Start collecting a list of "feel good" MUSIC. These will be songs where the melody, (not the words,) have a great effect on you. What you feel is closest described as your heart beginning to feel light like its' floating in your chest, as if its a balloon about to float away. This is one of the things I feel also when I am with my husband, or when first meeting a guy I really like, same hormones being released.
Music is the fastest way I know. Movement and exercise helps release the same hormones, so dancing, running, I even pretend to skip rope indoors. But it takes lots more exercise and dance before I get same effect. Good strong bear Hugs help raise these levels which you might keep in mind for other situations, and laughter, comedy but theres no time to really view enough of a comedy act on line to get the laughter going, and thats why I suggest using music. I have several songs that get this effect for me. One for example is Clocks by Coldplay. I can't help but begin smiling as I listen to it. Its not the words but chord progressions and sounds that help. This may help you to be able to handle mom.
Another choice would be going for counseling if that doesn't work. And lastly, the moving out solution. Hope this helps you some. Blessings and have a great holiday season.
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