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men who must controle women
why cant men just love one woman without controling her. doesnt he know i love him and will die with out him why doesnt he care or love me back , its ok its too late now any way, te sun will shine without me tommorrow and he wont even missme or even care. i just wanted some one to hear me bill boerner this is for you, i love you onto death i wish you could have loved me back. good bye forever my love hope i see you on the other side, you wont even look at me there eigther. its ok like you say im not worth it
always waiting 4you jenn 12-01-13
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
If you're reading this, humor me and please read to the end. This isn't to convince you to not make the decision you're alluding to, but to be well informed and look at all possible facts of reality before doing so.
Suicide is never the answer to what someone else does that hurts us.
Yes, this world we live in is a harsh place. Each soul born into a body on this planet, chose to come here to learn a particular lesson or to experience something in particular and be strengthened by it.
And no, we don't remember what happened before we were born, so those choices are hidden from our memory.
The fact that we do not recall ever having made the choice to experience the particular soul shaping hardship of this current life that we picked, means that
we either bitch and moan to who ever will listen,
we stoop to someone elses level and try to hurt back--be vindictive,
we get so depressed we don't want to face life anymore and contemplate death
OR.....
we are challenged to make something positive of the crappy deal dealt to us, you know that saying about when you have lemons, make lemonaid. Lemonaid is a good thing, it quenches thirst and is refreshing.
So what good thing can come from your experience?
Oh I don't know...maybe some character building?
Here's my story: My ex was controlling and verbally abusive. A church going family, you wouldn't think to find this there. 30 yrs I stayed before I left him. I always thought God could fix things. The thing is, He never interferes with our free choice,
not trying to get religious on you....just making a point, whether you believe in God or not.
You and the next guy all have the same rights to make any decision you want, being abusive or neglective in a relationship just as you have the right to decide to end your life.
But, before you do, it would be best to be well informed of what lifes reality actually is before making a decision.
During my church days I did not believe in reincarnation, but about the time that I left the ex, I went thru some major changes in belief, not in Gods existance, but some things that actually helped me to make my decisions and be able to live with them knowing they were the best choices for me.
So here is what I learned, in hopes that perhaps it will help you too. I feel like God or my angels placed this info inside me.
Life on earth is the school building. The people on the planet are the student souls in the school of life. Not everyone is in the same grade. Some Souls are kindergarten in their ability or maturity level, some are 5th grade, high school, or college. And just as there are students who apply themselves and study hard, there are Souls who do. Likewise on the other hand, there are souls who are goof offs and never really try to learn and graduate to the next grade, they don't take anything seriously, try to coast through life not accomplishing anything, or are actually trouble makers, malicious and end up making school difficult for the other students.
I am sure you can relate to that comparison.
So lets say the guy you speak of, his soul is at 4th grade level and you are at high school level. He has made decisions that keep him having to repeat in each re incarnation to another life the same lessons or 'same grade' if you will, until he passes that grade. There is no such thing as flunking, no such thing as failing a grade and moving on to the next. God doesn't require that we mature or learn anything in a particular amount of time, no time limits, he has eternity to wait to see us graduate.
So with this is mind, you will come up across people all the time in life who are very immature souls or much negative intent to steal, kill or destroy something. Some are easier to ignore cus they don't come into your life as often as one in a close relationship, like the store clerk, the bus driver on your route.
For a student to choose to drop out of school because of a trouble maker at school, it doesnt hurt the negative soul, in fact it doesnt even hurt the soul who wants to drop out of the school of life, but what it does do is bring an abrupt stop to your chance to learn what it is you are here to learn and experience. And if you don't pass this lesson successfully, or drop out "kill oneself", guess what, you just have to go through the same thing in the next life, different people but the same hard nasty things that happen to you until you learn how to make the right choice of response to what is happening to you.
And what might those right choices be? First, do what I did, I asked myself and asked angels to help me find out:
What specifically do I have that I can learn from this, something positive I can find in this...
And
how can I learn and personally grow from this experience.
IN my example, I discovered he was never in love with me, admitted to friends that he just loved me as the mom of his kids, but I didnt even recieve the kind of love one gives a friend. Was I hurt, did the verbal abuse have its effect on me? Yes, the emotional distress began to manifest as physical problems, headaches, migraines, stomach ulcers. I kept believing that God could heal my marriage.
I was believing a misguided concept since God could not force my husband to change because if He did that, then the husbands soul really never had a choice of free will. What changed me to decide to leave? God spoke inside my head one night in a dream, that if i did not leave the marriage immediately, I would be dead in 4 yrs due to heart problems or cancer. I left. I learned that leaving the ex. was It not giving up on a relationship, not giving up on a marriage, but believing in and loving myself foremost, above anything else. If I loved myself, I would not allow the ex to actually become a vehicle of the coming about of end of my life. I discovered that during most my marriage, I had not loved myself enough. After leaving him, I had to deal with my feelings of how I was treated, with less love and respect than one gives their pets. I had to Choose to find a positive way to look at it. Although I share my story often, there is no hurt or pain or wanting to give up on life behind it.
I actually feel sorry for him, kinda like Jesus musta felt for Judas betraying him. Someone had to be the one to turn him in. But Jesus forgave him, he just couldn't forgive himself.
So here I found myself actually feeling sorry for my ex, that he had to be the 'bad guy' role in my life story so I would have the opportunity to learn to love myself and to really forgive.
But he will have another chance to do better next time around so I feel better knowing his soul has another chance. Once I passed this crucial lesson in my life, wonderful things began to happen, unimaginable to my previous life, real blessings came my way. The biggest of these is finding my 2nd husband just 2 years after leaving the ex. This guy is the most wonderful husband. If there was such a thing as teaching a class to men on how to be good husbands, he would be the teacher.
If you decide to give up because of what this one immature soul did to you, then you will miss out on the blessings that await once you pass this difficult test successfully, and you get to graduate this grade level of the soul and not have to repeat next time.
Now that you have all this information, now you can make a fully informed decision... Which if you truly were listening to and absorbing what I had to share will be to not give up. I truly expect to hear back from you. Please write and let me know how you are doing. I would be glad to give any encouragement and advice at any time you need. Just go to advice column for dragonflymagic and write me from there. Hugs to you.
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