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friendship going overboard
Alright, i'm 22 years old and I known a guy for all most 3 months now. we were talking like far as trying to start a relationship and he was 32 and he just turned 33 a few days ago. He lives alone and I have met his parents on several different occasions and went on different trips already with the family. Well, There is a guy that he was "talking" to like he was talking to me. Everytime he said he was hanging out with this friend. I got jealous and he was making it noticeable. Like trying to rush me off before he gets there. So, I went thru his phone and seen some of the text messages that were dirty between his guy. I have seen pictures of him and he is albino looking and muscular and i'm nowhere like that. We are just friends now because i'm jealous of the guy still. He told me that he didn't think that i would get mad about the guy coming over to the house. I'm not sure what to do. I need advice.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You didnt say if you were a male or female. If you are female, perhaps this guy of yours is attracted to both men and women and would be a bi-sexual. That isn't something a person shares in the first handful of dates but now that you are discussing having a real relationship, thats one of the topics that needs to be brought out in the open. You share what you are and are not comfortable with. If you are female and just dont want to be with a guy who is attracted to men too, say so and break up.
If you are a male, this guy friend you've dated, may be gay but may not be monogamous, meaning sticking to only one partner. I don't know what these messages were, but if they aroused suspicion and anger in you, then you both need to have a good talk and be honest. If with a talk you still feel you can't trust what he is saying, I wouldn't bother with even just a friendship with him. Trust is very important in relationships, even friendships and even more important in a couple relationship.
If he has nothing to hide and is not in a relationship with the other guy, then he should be willing to give you details of how he knows the guy, why the texts are sexually dirty talk, does he have any regular conversation with the guy. Is the other guy gay or bi?
Relationships whether heterosexual or homosexual, must have two partners totally dedicated to each other if both claim to be monogamous. If both are polyamorous, many relationships at the same time, then it shouldn't hurt your relationship.
If one is monogamous while the other likes having more than one at a time in his life, then it will not.
So first on the list, some real in depth conversation. No blaming or accusations or assumptions, just get out the facts. And second, based on what you find out, you'll have decisions to make, whether to continue with going into a serious relationship or breaking it off now because there are too many major differences.
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