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What should i do about my failing relationship?
Ok so I have no idea where to start with this its a mess. I'm 15 sophmore in highschool, female, and as far as relationships go I am highly unstable. So I have a boyfriend and our relationship has been up and down mostly on my part since I'm bipolar and he hates it. One minute I'm yelling at him and cursing him out the next minute I wanna make out and another I want to cry alone in a corner. Ugh what's wrong with me. Today he "broke up" with me and I almost broke down crying but then he said he was only joking (it wasn't funny). He also didn't eat lunch with me and instead with one of his female friends alone. He didn't tell me but I knew and I kinda went into his Facebook messages to confirm it and apparently they didnt do anything but he intends to keep it a secret. I know it was wrong to do such a thing but I couldn't help it the temptation was strong. Ive taken him for granted for too long and I want it to work out but he probably doesn't even like me anymore. I don't know if I should talk to him. Thinking about this is making me physically sick. Please help.
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Are you saying you are bipolar or have you been diagnosed by your doctor and being treated by a psychiatrist for this? I ask this for we have a large number of people writing saying they are bipolar writing to us for a illness that is not that common.
IF you have been properly diagnosed are you on medication? If you are on medication are you taking your medication as prescribed? If you are then you need to talk to your psychiatrist as the medication may not be the proper medication to control your illness.
If you are not taking your medication as prescribed you must do so. I understand that when you take your medication you feel normal You see no reason for taking the medication especially given the side effects so you stop taking it. This is where the problem comes in. When you stop taking the medication you revert back to the way you were and you either don't trust the medication or won't take it because of the side effects.
You must take your medication if you want to control your mood swings and feel normal. The side effects are an unfortunate side of the medication and the illness. One thought that you can and should discuss with your doctor. New medications for this are constantly coming on the market. They all have some side effects but not all will have the side effects affect you as they medication and its side effect interact on your physiology.
Now the above has all to do with if you are bipolar. Bipolar is an extreme form of depression it was once called manic depression. If you have not been diagnose and only based on what you have written. You should see your family doctor to be screened and to have a full physical. The physical is to rule out any organic cause for depression should the screening indicate depression. The screening consists of the doctor asking you a number of questions. Based on your answers the doctor will make a diagnoses.
It is not unusual for a teenage to have what is now being called teenage depression. when I was young and your grandparents were young our parents called this a phase we were going through and we would grow out of it. For the most part they were right. Today the doctors no better and have treatments for this to make it easier on today's teenager.
My suggestions to you are. If you are properly diagnosed and being compliant with your medications. Tell your psychiatrist what is happening as you medications need to be changed. If you are not compliant with you medications start taking them again and do not stop.
If you have not been properly diagnosed see your family doctor and tell the doctor what is happening with your mood swings. Ask to be screened for depression
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Are you just labeling your behavior bi-polar or have you been diagnosed by a doctor?
If you haven't seen a doctor for your mood swings, then it's important to get in and see one.
If you have been prescribed medication and it isn't helping, again see your doctor and perhaps theres something else he can prescribe. You also need to be receiving therapy regularly from a psychologist.
It may be that your boyfriend has given up on you. It is quite a lot to handle for a human of any age, being in relationship with someone who is bipolar.
If the boy was never told that you are bipolar, then at the point you both became real interested in dating, that was the time to tell.
There are articles on line that talk of 'effects of bipolar on relationships". Just put that into a search. Here's a couple I found to get you started. Once on medication and in therapy, there is still something you can do, getting familiar with warning signs, and taking steps to manage it, and warn the other person as mentioned in this next link.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Even if you are not truly bi-polar and it's more of having a temper and learning how to control it, or perhaps the hormones of puberty still having emotional effects on you where you find yourself more easily getting angry, more emotional and weepy then knowing and understanding what is going on and what you have to do to conquer it is something every female usually has to go through.
No matter what is the cause of your behavior, if it is that serious, it will effect more than just dating relationships in your life, but family members, friends, and fellow students, teachers and later, boss and co-workers. So it is a good thing to learn now what measures are helpful to take when you know you're about to lose control. A counselor is best set up to help with that.
If you are getting professional help, it would be good to let him know, if you are getting counsellingI know you feel bad about how you treated the boyfriend, but right now, you have nothing encouraging or promising to tell him so rehashing what has happened won't help. Saying you are sorry for the umpteenth time won't mean much either. But it's up to you whether to talk to him or not. If he really liked you but couldnt handle the mood swings, then once you are treated and responding positively to treatment and counseling and using techniques recommended to monitor and control yourself, he and everyone else will take notice for there will be a big change in your behavior.
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